The Blue Avenger in:Attack of The Green Jacket

Characters:
The Blue Avenger/Ace Reporter Joe E. Bassford-A mild-mannered news reporter by day and a super hero any other time.
The Green Jacket/Jakob Reiss-An evil German scientist determined to turn everyone into a watermelon so he can feast on their brain matter(tastily) in an attempt to gain the knowledge of the world and create an Army of his own Supermen using said-people’s knowledge to take over the world.
Liz Orange-main reporter for Daily Propaganda Paper
John White-Head of DPP
The Boss-Jakob’s boss

Prelude:
(Reiss enters from the left and sits down at a desk)

Reiss:What have you called me in for, sir?

Boss:Well Mr. Reiss, lately I’ve been questioning what exactly you’re doing during your work hours.

Reiss:Elaborate

Boss:Well, I’ve gotten reports that you’ve not been doing much research for the company but rather for yourself.

Reiss:Whats the problem with that?

Boss:Many

Reiss:Well boss, I assure you that my business is exclusively company.

Boss:Reiss, I’m sorry, but the amount of complaints is too much. Mr. Reiss, you’re fired.

Reiss:What exactly for?

Boss:Violating dress code. All scientists wear white lab coats, not a Green Jacket.

Reiss:Ah, well you’re fired.

Boss;Now how is that possible?

Reiss:Because I’m firing this at you!

(He presses a button on his jacket that unleashes a laser. We see the new boss now as a watermelon on the chair)

Reiss(evil laugh)

Scene 1

(We are at a news station where we see Ace Reporter Joe E. Bassford at the water jug filling a cup. He gets up from there and turns to see Liz Orange, another reporter. He is slightly nervous and accidently spills his cup on himself.)

Orange:Oh sorry, are your alright?

Bassford(nervous and adjusting various things):Yes, yes I’m ok, just a little tired.

Orange:I can see, what were you doing last night.

Bassford:Oh nothing, just doing some work. Why, um…what were you doing?

Orange:Just covering that Blue Avenger guy. He saved that poor kitty from the fire.

Bassford(smiling a bit):Yes yes, he’s a great, fantastic fellow he is.

(Enter John White)

White:Well I think he’s a menace!

Orange:Oh, Mr. White, why must you say that?

White:it’s a fact, the Blue Avenger is a menace to society. Besides, he’s out to get me.

Orange:What makes you say that?

White:He saved a cat, and as everybody knows I’m allergic to them.

Orange:Oh, Mr. White, you’re so out of touch with people

White:I know a vigilante when I see one, and the Blue Avenger is one. Anyone who wears a mask is a menace because they’re hiding their true self in an effort to confuse people.

Bassford:Mr. White, I…

White:I what? I, robot? I, myself? Me, myself, and I? Come on spit it out.

Bassford(scared):I agree sir

White:Good, now Orange, I want you to cover this story.

Orange:Which story?

White:The one on that CEO of Evil Co. vanished.

Orange:Alright.

White:Bassford, go with her and take photos.

Bassford:Um…okay sir

White:Well what are you waiting on? Go!

(Bassford and Orange exit)

End Scene 1

Scene 2

(We find Bassford and Orange at the office where the incident took place.)

Orange:Oh jeez, what a mess

Bassford:Looks like he might have had some melon before he departed(shot of a watermelon on a chair partially eaten.)

Reiss(from literally nowhere with an eye patch on):More like, he departed into a watermelon and to my stomach!

(Evil laugh)

Orange:Who are you?

Reiss:They call me, The Green Jacket. You must be Liz Orange, I’ve read your stories, they bore me. So now I’m going to eat you.

Orange:What do you mean?

Reiss:Watch this!

(He hit’s the button, Bassford and Orange move out of the way and it hit’s the chair turning it into a watermelon.)

Reiss:Want to turn your melon into a melon?

(Evil laugh)

Bassford:Come on, Liz, lets get out of here.

(They take off and run with Reiss following them)

Reiss:Don’t be afraid, I know it ain’t easy being green

(Evil laugh)

Bassford:I’m going to get help

Orange:What?

Bassford:See ya!

Orange:Joe!

(He runs away and behind something. He re-emerges in a blue hockey mask, cape, shirt, and tights. He proceeds to run towards them. We cut to Reiss continuing to chase after her. He fires at her but misses. She trips and falls.)

Reiss:Ms. Orange, I feel you’re about to become green with envy.

(As he aims to fire at her, he is hit in the back of the head by a pillow knocking him over.)

Reiss:Who did that?

(He gets up and sees The Blue Avenger behind him)

Reiss:Who the devil are you?

Bassford:I am the Blue Avenger, I fight for truth, justice, and all that is blue.

Reiss:Pleased to meet you, I’m the Green Jacket. Blue you say? I plan on making you turn green.

(He fires at The Blue Avenger, who turns around allowing the cape to deflect it. While this is transpiring we see Liz taking pictures. Soon the Green Jacket runs out of ammo. The Blue Avenger turns around and throws a wave at him soaking his jacket.)

Reiss:My jacket. You have ruined it! I shall now fight like in old country.

Bassford:Old country?

Reiss:Yes.

Bassford:Which old country?

Reiss:Germany

Bassford:Your German?

Reiss:Yes, can’t you tell by my accent and name.

Bassford:The Green Jacket is german?

Reiss:That’s not my name.

Bassford:You said it was “The Green Jacket”.

Reiss:No my REAL name!

Bassford:Which is?

Reiss:Jakob Reiss, brilliant scientist from Germany! Oh crap you weren’t supposed to know that.

Bassford:Which part of Germany?

Reiss:Berlin

Bassford:East or West?

Reiss:East, of course, after all, I am a communist.

(Evil Laugh)

Bassford:You fiend!

Reiss:It is part of my communist agenda to turn people into watermelons. Then I eat them and use the knowledge to create my own race of Supermen that will take over the world. Crap I did it again…

Bassford:Not if I can do anything about it!

Reiss:Lets fight!

(They proceed to fight. Eventually the Blue Avenger is victorious. Liz runs over to him.)
Liz:My hero!

(She goes over and hugs him or whatever)

Liz:What ever could I do to repay you?

Bassford:I have a lot in mind(thumbs up to the camera), but if anything its that you give photography credit to Joe E. Bassford.

Liz:But he didn’t do anything?

Bassford:Yes, but his job depends on it.

Liz:Fine, where shall we meet again, blue one?

Bassford:Whenever theres a cry for help I’ll be there. Whenever blue is turned to any other, I’ll be there, and whenever theres a lie, I’ll be there to tell the truth. I am off, farewell…Liz.

(He runs away behind a building. A few seconds later Bassford re-appears as himself.)

Liz(angered):Where did you go?

Bassford:Um…um…bathroom?

Liz:You left me with that freak.

Bassford:Yes, but I also called in the Blue Avenger.

Liz:I guess that makes it up for it. Did you see him?

Bassford:No, why?

Liz:He just past you. Did you see the fight?

Bassford:Yes, it was a great victory…for him.

Liz:Come on lets get back to the paper, we got a great story.

Bassford:Yes we do…

The End

Prolude:

(We see the Blue Avenger against an American flag background)

Blue Avenger:Kids, today we’ve seen what happens when science goes wrong. However, for this you should not criticize watermelons, scientists, germans, communists, and green jackets, for they were misguided in this episode and that comes from you parents. Every day juvenile delinquency rises in America and it starts with the adults. My message to the parents is to love your children, give them guidance, and when they turn 18 send them off to the Military for your sons and find a proper suitor for your daughters. For the future of our American republic depends on it. Also kids, watermelons are good to eat but people aren’t.