An original play by Joey Basford
Coming Soon:The Jacob Reese Adaptation
Act I
Scene 1
(The curtain rises on the stage we find The Devil standing in his chamber of doom)
The Devil:Double Double Toilet Trouble
(A Plumber arrives)
Plumber:Can you hold your horses? I'm almost done
The Devil:Can you hurry? I gotta pee
Plumber:Just do something productive
The Devil:Destructive?
Plumber:Sure
The Devil:That gives me a great idea
(Blackout)
End Scene 1
Scene 2
(We find Jack Jefferson and his all-american friends Ken Kennedy, David Davis, and Rob Robinson)
Rob:Well Jackie boy you seem quite tender today
Jack:Why would I not, Saturday is a big night
Rob:Ah yes the dance, you do realize we must get ready for Ryder High first right?
Jack:Don't worry we're going to score on Ryder just like I will with Mary
(We cut to where Mary is outside under a tree with her friends Alice Allison, Cameron Cameron, and Helen Hinkelbomber)
Helen:So Mary do you plan on going for the ball on Saturday night?
Mary:Oh dear lord no I couldn't
Alice:What are you scared?
Mary:No its just my values hold me back. I feel I should wait til marriage
Cameron:Marriage is overrated like sex
Mary:So why do you insist on me doing it?
Cameron:Because its all the rage
Mary:I have values, my mother, and my sister all look up to me
Helen:Well you're 6'1
Mary:Touche
End Scene 2
Scene 3
(We find Jack at his home bench pressing)
Mr.Jefferson:Son, I want to talk to you
Jack:What is it dad?
Mr.Jefferson:Well son, I know that tomorrow you embark on the first part of a long journey
Jack:Its just Homecoming dad
Mr.Jefferson:Son I don't think you understand, its not Homecoming...its a way of life. That date is the first step to a long and sometimes difficult life journey.
Jack:What are you saying?
Mr.Jefferson:Play safe
Jack:Dad, I'm not going to have sex
Mr.Jefferson:Woah woah woah woah woah look here Jethro Tull I said nothing about sex. I'm just saying be careful during the game...you're a pervert
Jack:I don't get it
Mr.Jefferson:Thats it Sunday morning I am sending you to church and Father O'Reilly will give you a pep talk
Jack:For what?
Mr.Jefferson:To get you motivated
Jack:For what?
Mr.Jefferson:Sex son!
Jack:Ugh...thats cool dad...look my mother is calling
Mr.Jefferson:Ok son just be careful
(He walks over to the kitchen)
Mrs.Jefferson:Oh son how are you?
Jack:Quite well I suppose
Mrs.Jefferson:Thats good, hows dad?]
Jack:He's ok just slightly crazy today
Mrs.Jefferson:At least he isn't marching nude in the Mummers day parade again
Jack:Yeah that was embarrassing
Mrs.Jefferson:So are you taking Mary Washington to the dance?
Jack:Yes indeedy, we're going to have a quite splendid night if I must say
Mrs.Jefferson:I hope so
(Across stage in hell we find the Devil laughing)
The Devil:Oh it will
(Evil Laugh)
The Plumber(off-stage):What will?
The Devil:Quiet you twit
End Scene 3
End Act I
Act II
Scene 1
(We find the gang at the dance)
Rob:Damn Jackie this party is kickin
Jack:Yeah just like we kicked their buttockses in Football
Ken:So when are the chickies
Jack:As soon of Mother Hen's eggs hatch
Ken:Makes sense I suppose
(Meanwhile in hell we find the Devil talking with the Plumber)
The Plumber:Whats the occasion?
The Devil(wearing a red tux):Its time to go dancing I say
Plumber:Do you know any dances??
Devil:No not really...I'm just going to seduce Jack and Mary
Plumber:You do that
Devil:Oh I will
(Later we find everybody dancing)
Jack:Woo thats been a dusy. I'll be right back
(He walks over to the bathroom where he finds The Devil wearing a tux)
Jack:So cool kitty cat I never seen you around here before
Devil:The names Lucifer
Jack:Like "I Love Lucy"?
Devil:Umm...no...not really
Jack:Oh
Devil:Want to try this cool keen drink?
Jack:What is it called?
Devil:Sextacee
Jack:Whats it do?
Devil:Gives you more energy for shaking, rattling, and rolling...if you catch my drift *wink*
Jack:I don't but I'll try it anyways
(He drinks it all)
Jack:Gee thanks I feel it now
Devil:As you should
(Evil Laugh)
Jack:...Well I'll catch you later then?
Devil:Oh you will
(Eviler Laugh)
(Jack heads back to the dance floor. Still with the drink)
Mary:Say where did you get that drink?
Jack:From some cool cat named "Lucifer". He's a real devil I tell ya
Mary(she drinks it):He must be the way this drink works
The Devil(off-stage):Oh you don't know the whole of it
(Evil Laugh)
End Scene 1
Scene 2
(4 months have gone by. It is now March, we find Jack and Mary sitting at the Sugar Bowl eating...food?)
Mary:My goodness, I have to stop eating, I'm getting bigger
Jack:Surely, my dear, its just the food...right?
Mary:Jackie, I really don't know. I am confused. I feel that something may have happened to me...that night
Jack:Theres no way you can be pregnant
Mary:I'm scared Jack, I might have to get a doctor to check it out
Jack:Rest assure that nothing is wrong with you. Maybe your metabolism has gotten bad and you're overweight not pregnant.
Mary:I tell you Jack, the symptoms are there
Jack:Thats just gas
Mary:Jack, this isn't funny
Jack:I know you need to wear more perfume
Mary:I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow and put an end to this madness
Jack:I hope so
Mary:How's recruiting going?
Jack:Quite splendid I'm down to Ohio State, Notre Dame, Michigan, Maryland, and Oklahoma. I should be making my pick at the end of the week. And I'll tell you what baby, I WILL make our dreams come true
Mary:I hope so, I would hate for a setback
(The Devil walks in dressed in a "professional looking" outfit)
Jack:Say maybe that cool cat is a doctor
Mary:Where do you base that off of?
Jack:The next line in the script
The Devil:Oh I'm sorry to intrude but I here you're looking for a doctor
Jack:Yes indeed, are you one?
The Devil:Yes, the name is Doctor Death
Mary:That sounds scary
Jack:Yeah, and you look familiar
The Devil:I must have one of those type of faces
Jack:Yeah, so what can you do for us?
The Devil:I can set up an appointment
Jack:For what time?
The Devil:8 o'clock tonight
Jack:Alright, its a date
The Devil:What kind of date?
Jack:How about dinner with us
The Devil:Sure
End Scene 2
Scene 3
(We find Mr and Mrs Washington talking with the Jeffersons)
Mr.Washington:I must say Jack and Mary are getting along quite fairly
Mrs.Jefferson:I will agree, myself
Mr.Jefferson:Yeah they're just like Abbott and Costello except one is female
Mr.Washington(chuckling):Must be your boy Mr.Jefferson
Mr.Jefferson:I am afraid not, my son is a man, a man of courage, a man of honor, a man of prestige. He is one in a million. He is the Phenom of Throwing, the Aztec of Ashes, the Son of Sam, the Darling of Delaware, the Beast of Burden, the Clown of Colorado, the Evil of Essence, the Frogger of Freaks, the Giant of Grapes, the Houdini of Halloween, the Igloo of Iceland, the Joker of Jokes, the King of Knights, the Least Common Denominator, the Mop of Minnesota, the Night of the Living Dead, the Opus of Mr. Holland, the Ping of Ping Pong, the Quacker of Quakes, the Rat of Recess, the Standard of High Definition, the Top of the Tower, the United States of America, the Valerie of Victorias, the Wake of Westminster, the Xavier of Xena, the Yang of Ying, the Zero of Nero, he is JACQUELINE NICOLE RICHIE RICARDO ELLIS JONES ROBINSON JOHNSON JACOB JINGLE HEIMER SCHMIDT THOMAS JEFFERSON...Senior...
Mr.Washington:Senior? Are you implying that my daughter is pregnant with his child?
Mr.Jefferson:Blasphamy! It is quite clear that he is pregnant with HER child!
Mr.Washington:Mr.Jefferson what you have just said may be the most idiotic thing I have ever heard in my life. Never in your insane rambling did you even come anywhere close to rational thought. Everyone in this room including you(if thats possible) is now dumber because of you. For this I reward you no points and may God have mercy on your soul
Mr.Jefferson(thumb in mouth rocking back and forth):I'm s-s-s-s-s-sorry
Mr.Washington:Thats better
Mrs.Jefferson:Surely, Mr.Washington I am assured that Jack and Mary have done nothing wrong
Mr.Washington:I hope not for my poor Mary could never be a mother she is not qualified
Mrs.Washington:Now what makes you assure of that?
Mr.Washington:She's a woman...she is completely devoid of common sense
Mrs.Washington:Listen here Yang, I'm not too "keen" on your vocabulary
Mr.Washington:I am not a male anatomy
Mrs.Washington:I did not call you that I called you Yang
Mr.Washington:Yeah Chinese for male anatomy
Mrs.Washington:Thats Wang
Mr.Washington:Touche...I see what you did that
Mrs.Jefferson:Like The Who says, "The Kids Are Alright"
Mr.Washington:Who are The Who?
Mr.Jefferson:The Who is a rock band from the future that plays the best music ever. Their lead singer Roger Daughtry is possibly the best lead singer in British Rock history. Their drummer Keith Moon is the best in the business
Mr.Washington:And what does they have to do with anything
Mr.Jefferson:I can't explain
Mr.Washington:I see, I guess they're ok
(We cut to Hell's Kitchen where we find the Devil, Jack, and Mary having dinner)
The Devil:So how is this fine meal?
Jack:It is fantastic, Doc
The Devil:Why thank you...how is your meal, Miss?
Mary:Oh it is quite delish
The Devil:I agree, and you're definately pregnant
(They drop their forks)
Mary:What do you mean?
The Devil:Oh Mary, its a known fact then when pregnant women eat more
Mary:Oh no Jack it is true!
Jack:Doctor, theres gotta be some way to prevent this from happening?
The Devil:There is...and its called an abortion
Mary:An abortion, oh dear god no!
The Devil:Oh yes, its the only method to getting rid of this child
Mary:Jack I can't
Jack:Mary, you'll have to, its the only way
The Devil:Colleges aren't keen on students with children
Jack:Do it...its our only hope
Mary:I can't
(She runs out of the house crying)
The Devil:Oh its a shame, she has big sense of morality, right?
Jack:Unfortunately so
The Devil:Well thats too bad...its up to you Jackie, you have to save your future and convince her to lose it
Jack:I'll do what I have to...thank you Doc
The Devil:Oh no thank you my friend
End Scene 3
End Act II
Act III
(We see a blank stage and out comes Joey Basford)
Basford:As you all know that is the end of Act I. In my plays we have this thing called filter. This is filter. Basically the actors are dead off their buttockses and cannot perform for "x" amount of minutes. So I will talk and waste time
(The Devil enters from stage left)
The Devil:We're ready to go
Basford:No you're not
The Devil:We are we totally are
Basford:Proove it
The Devil:Jack, Mary!
(They enter)
Jack:Yes Jacob...I mean Satan?
The Devil:Are we ready or not?
Jack:Yes
Basford:No not til I say so
Jack:Its not your say
Basford:Yes it is I'm the bleeding director and writer and producer. So get your butts backstage and prepare for the next scene
Mary:Ok either you let us on stage or we quit
Basford:Fine screw you all you can kiss my ass I'm out of here. And good luck finding anyone as good as me
(Basford leaves and Zach Skier shows up)
The Devil:Your hired
Zach Skier:I am? Cool....
End Act III
Act IV
(We find Mary sitting in a church on her knees. Jack enters)
Jack:What are you doing here?
Mary:Praying
Jack:For?
Mary:Everything to go right
Jack:It is I talked to the doctors and we're having the abortion done tomorrow
Mary:What?
Jack:Yes
Mary:Jack this isn't right, this is murder
Jack:Mary, this baby wasn't mean't to be think of it this way...we have the abortion and our lives are saved and things can go well
Mary:But didn't you see Blue Denim those doctors are evil and Janet and Arthur almost got into trouble
Jack:Are you refering to the film or Basford's version?
Mary:That version isn't supposed to be written for another 50 years
Jack:Oh well I am part psychic
Mary:And completely stupid
Jack:Thats beside the point. The point is we have to get the abortion
(He gets on his knees, holds her hand and gazes into her eyes)
Jack:Look if we don't do it now, our lives are ruined
Mary:I guess you're right
Jack:You're talking to a football player we're always right
Mary:I just hope nothing happens
(Enter a Priest)
Priest:Oh hello children, what brings you here?
Jack:Oh nothing father we're just praying
Priest:Thats good, I'm glad to see a sin free people in this monstrous generation
Jack:We're not all bad
Priest:Looking at you two I can tell. Well children, you have a wonderful day I got a polygamist Rock party to attend
(He takes off his priest robe revealing a leather outfit and walks off-stage)
Jack:See he's oblivious
End Scene 1
Scene 2
(We find the parents talking)
Mr.Washington:I stay say, Mr.Jefferson you're a complete idiot
Mr.Jefferson:Well I agree
Mrs.Washington:How long have they been arguing?
Mrs.Jefferson:Since Act II
Mrs.Washington:Jeez you'd think they discuss something else
(Jack enters with Mary)
Mrs.Jefferson:Why hello kids, how are you this evening
Jack:I knocked up Mary
Mr.Washington and Mr.Jefferson:WHAT?
Jack:I mean down
Mr.Washington and Mr.Jefferson:Oh
Jack:Yeah we were boxing
Mr.Jefferson:You had me going sonny boy
Jack:Yeah my bad
Mr.Washington:So who won?
Jack:I did
Mr.Jefferson:Thats my boy, see there Mr.Washington, your daughter is no match for my sons uppercut
Mr.Washington:Beh whatever, Mary get your big butt and your mother out of here we're going home
Mary:Ok
(The Washingtons leave)
Mr.Jefferson:I have noticed that shes gotten fat
Jack:Its not fat, its muscle
Mrs.Jefferson:Muscle?
Jack:Yes, Mary and I have been to the gym
Mr.Jefferson:Than why is her butt twice the size of Joey Basford's full body?
Jack:Wasn't that line supposed to say something else?
Mr.Jefferson:Yes but the cast hates him right now so we have to take as many shots as we can
Jack:Ah I see what you did there
Mr.Jefferson:Yes, but how do you explain her booty?
Jack:A new workout
Mr.Jefferson:Called?
Jack:Buttercups
Mr.Jefferson:And whats that?
Jack:Basically you do pushups with weights on your buttocks
Mr.Jefferson:I should try it and attract the chickies
Jack:Dad I don't think women are attracted to big bottoms
Mr.Jefferson:Son I know more about women than you know about football
Jack:Thats one of the stupidest analogies I've ever heard
Mr.Jefferson:Well I'm a stupid person
Jack:We established this in Act 1
Mr.Jefferson:I thought it was Act II?
Jack:No, Act II solidified it
Mr.Jefferson:What was Act III?
Jack:Filter
Mr.Jefferson:Well what Act are we in?
Jack:4 dad
Mr.Jefferson:Oh well dang this has been pretty fast
Jack:Its easy when your writer is extremely lazy
Mr.Jefferson:You got a point
Jack:I'm going to bed
Mr.Jefferson:Ok
(He heads off stage)
End Scene 2
Scene 3
(We find Mary laying in her bed, suddenly a nun walks in)
Nun:Wake up!
(She gets up)
Mary:Who are you
Nun:Mother Superior
Mary:Oh my, what brings you here?
Nun:I hear you're getting an abortion
Mary:Yes I am
Nun:That is a sin
Mary:I know, will you forgive me mother?
Nun:Yes...with a vengeance!
(She takes an axe and swings it at Mary)
(Darkness)
(Light where we find Mary in her bed)
Mary:It was just a dream
(On the other side of the bed we find Joey Basford)
Basford:Trust me that was no dream
(She screams then darkness again)
(Light)
Mary(covered in sweat):Oh jeez, this is getting bad I don't think I can do this
(Suddenly the Devil appears)
Mary:Who are you?
The Devil:I am your, ugh..uncle
Mary:Oh, thats cool
The Devil:Yeah
Mary:What are you doing here?
The Devil:Giving you a tasty drink
Mary:Whats it called?
The Devil:Oblivion
Mary:Whats in it
The Devil:Tasty stuff
Mary:Ooo delicious
(She chugs it and burps and he flies 10 feet back)
Mary:Thank you uncle
The Devil:Please don't mention it
End Act IV
Act V:The Finale
Scene 1
(We find Jack and Mary at night walking, they stop inside the clinic)
Dr.Acula:Ello and velcome to the hospitol. vhat are your names?
Jack:Jack Jefferson and Mary Washington
Dr.Acula:Ves Ves, you're here for the abortion...DOCTOR AFRICA!
(Dr.Africa enters)
Dr.Africa:Yes?
Dr.Acula:These are the people here for the abortion
Dr.Africa:Oh I see well lets begin
(He heads off-stage and rolls a bed)
Dr.Africa:Just lay down here and we'll see
(She lays on the bed)
Jack:Is it safe?
Dr.Africa:It should be
Dr.Acula:Ves hopefully there'll be blood!
(Dr.Africa hits Dr.Acula with a newspaper)
Dr.Africa:Quiet you!
(Police Sirens blare in the air and police officers storm in)
Officer:Dr.Africa, Dr.Acula you're under arrest for the practice of abortion. Get em boys!
(Other officers attempt to arrest them but Dr.Acula fights back by biting them and sucking their blood. Another officer pulls a gun out and fires at Dr.Acula but he ducks and hits Mary)
Jack:No!
Mary:Run Jackie, run
(She faints)
(He grabs the hospitol bed and shoves it at the officers knocking them over he then runs off-stage)
End Scene 1
Scene 2
(We find the Washingtons and the Jeffersons in a room listening to the radio)
Mrs.Washington:So where did Jack and Mary go?
Mrs.Jefferson:They went to the Clinic
Mr.Washington:Clinic?
Mrs.Jefferson:Yes the Clinic
Mr.Washington:What is it?
Mrs.Jefferson:Its a hockey arena, the Skiers must be playing
Mr.Washington:Must
Radio Announcer:We interrupt this program to bring you an important announcement, their has been a raid at the West Andersonville Clinic where a fight between police and doctors have ended with 2 arrests, 1 injured, and 1 escapee
Mr.Washington:Oh gosh, doesn't sound too keen
Mr.Jefferson:I sure hope they found that freak who escaped anyone who kill a baby is it sick twisted sinister anal acculated bisexual neutral sited cannibal freak monster from Potsdam
Radio Announcer:The people identified are as follows:Dr.Count Acula, Dr.Will Acula, Mary Washington, and Jack Jefferson)
(They all look on in shock)
Mr.Washington:I knew your boy was a bad influence
Mr.Jefferson:Its clear that your girl is the negative Nancy
Mr.Washington:That does it I'm tired of your ARROGANCE
Mr.Jefferson:THIRTY YEARS OF FRUSTRATION!
(They begin to fight eventually rolling out of site off-stage)
End Scene 2
Scene 3
(We find Jack hiding behind a trash can as cops look on)
Cop 1:I guess we'll have to check further away
(They leave the area)
Jack:Oh dear god, what have I done
(The lights go out, when they come back on everything is tinted red and the Rolling Stones song, "Sympathy for the Devil" plays and the Devil appears with the plumber)
Jack:Who are you?
The Devil:Can't you hear the song?
Jack:Yes but what does that have to do with anything?
The Devil:It describes to you who I am
Jack:Well who are you?
The Devil:Listen to the song
Jack:Why won't you just summarize it
The Devil:Fine lets do it
(A band of demons join in with guitars)
The Devil:Hit it boys
(Music starts)
The Devil:Please allow me to introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
Ive been around for a long, long year
Stole many a mans soul and faith
And I was round when jesus christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game
I stuck around st. petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain
I rode a tank
Held a generals rank
When the blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah
I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made
I shouted out,
Who killed the kennedys?
When after all
It was you and me
Let me please introduce myself
Im a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached bombay
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But whats confusing you
Is just the nature of my game
Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me...
(Before he finishes he is interrupted)
Jack:Wait I got it...you're Mick Jagger
The Devil:No...
Jack:Joey Basford?
The Devil:Um no
Jack:Keith Richards?
The Devil:Nope
Jack:Jacob Reese?
The Devil(inconspicous):No...
Jack:God?
The Devil:Oh god no...please just call me....Lucifer...
Jack:Oh hi, Luci...oh my god, you're the Devil?
The Devil:Yes
Jack:Wh-wh-what do you want with me?
The Devil:Just a little game
Jack:A game?
The Devil:Yes
Jack:Of what?
The Devil:Cat and mouse
Jack:What do you mean
The Devil:You see Jackie boy you and your precious Mary are just mice in my little game and I'm the cat
Jack:How do you know us?
The Devil:I'm the reason behind this
(He grabs Jack by the collar and pushes him against the wall)
The Devil:Remember the dance Jackie?
Jack:What about it?
The Devil:It was me, who gave you the drink that caused you and Mary to forget your "morals" and do the dirtiest of all sins. I was the doctor who said she was pregnant and recommended you to Dr.Acula and Dr.Africa, who I set up for failure. It was me who actually impregnated Mary.
Jack:Thats not possible!
The Devil:Oh it is, you drank Devil's Serum meaning that through your sexual intercourse with Mary not only have you impregnated her you've also planted the seed into creating the anti-christ. He shall be born August 13th, and from their my son Danny will rise through television to destroy the world. HAHAHAHAHAHAA!
Jack:Are you saying Danny Bonaduce is the anti-christ?
The Devil:Yes
Jack:And you knocked up Mary?
The Devil:Yes
Jack:You...you...you can burn in hell
The Devil:I'm afraid I'm already doing so
Jack:You will pay for this
The Devil:I know, here take this katana
(He hands Jack a katana)
Jack:This will feel good
(He swings the katana at the Devil's neck, before it makes contact the lights go out. When they come back on, the Devil has vanished and has been replaced by Cops)
Cop:There he is!
Another Cop:He's got a weapon
The Devil(off-stage):Shoot him!
(They proceed to fire multiple shots at Jack. He is continually shot at as he turns around to escape, he then collapses and dies. Everyone on stage freezes as one of the cops walks to the front of the stage)
Cop:What you've just seen here is a tragic display of what happens when sin gets into your life and the devil within you takes over and destroys every ounce of soul. For this I suggest that children of all ages should see "Sex Has Consequences" for if they do not see it, they're lives within themselves will be corrupt and they may end up like Jack and Mary. But remember their are good people out there that can save us such as...
(Before he finishes he is cut off by a mysterious figure in blue football pants, blue shirt and a blue face-painted hockey mask)
Mysterious Figure:Me, the Blue Avenger!
(He proceeds to tackle the cop and throw him off-stage, he then grabs the Devil from backstage and throws him against a wall and smashes him with his weight. The cops, Jack, Mary, the Washingtons, and the Jeffersons attack him but he breaks out of their dog pile and runs around destroying the entire set. He then grabs the stretcher and rolls it at everyone else knocking them over then runs off stage screaming maniacally. Zach Skier wallks back on-stage)
Zach:Um, uh good night everybody
(As the curtain falls, the Blue Avenger slides across stage on the stretcher)
The End
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Looking for more people on "Don't Look Back"
At the moment, I'm not looking for people initially. I can have people shoot some footage at any time during the school year. What I'm mainly looking for is footage from the following areas of the school:
The Drama Department
Any Atheltics(preferably Football and Volleyball but all sports are welcomed as long as theirs a story behind their season)
Any School Committee
I'm also looking for personal stroies by anyone if they're willing to share any.
I also need someone to shoot footage for the first day of school
If there is not enough footage for the film by at least June 4, 2009, I will cancel the whole project. I am seeking more people for footage and footage for the first day of school.
The Drama Department
Any Atheltics(preferably Football and Volleyball but all sports are welcomed as long as theirs a story behind their season)
Any School Committee
I'm also looking for personal stroies by anyone if they're willing to share any.
I also need someone to shoot footage for the first day of school
If there is not enough footage for the film by at least June 4, 2009, I will cancel the whole project. I am seeking more people for footage and footage for the first day of school.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
"Don't Look Back"
Don't Look Back is scheduled to be filming from August 21,2008-Graduation 2009. It is a documentary about the Seniors in Boonsboro. I'm looking for people willing to be videotaped and people willing to appear and do various segments on the film. It will be edited next summer and hopefully released to DVD in August 2009.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Drama
It is June 2, 2008 meaning that in 2 days the 2007-2008 school year is coming to an abrupt halt. The School year isn't the only thing ending. I not only lose my Junior year but I also lose Drama for at least 2 months. Drama class has possibly been in my 12 years of being in school, the funnest class and best character wise I have ever taken. The point prooves in a book I am currently writing entitled, Drama:Or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Stage.
The class itself has taught me a lot of things. One thing it taught me was the sense of teamwork. The sense had always been in my mindset but never really in me. The production of The Good Woman of Setzuan showed me the emphasis on the term "teamwork". If one small part of the show wasn't working then the show itself would be doomed for failure.
An example of this is lines. If someone doesn't get their lines right then there would be a major issue to the point where we experience awkward phrases, dialouge, and pauses. Miscues could also occur causing the show to have complete failure. Imagine if during the fight scene that Jacob and Tom accidently fell back and destroyed the fake wall not only would they be in major trouble but it exposes the backstage showing the stage crew and literally killing the visual effects of the show. The show would therefore be ruined and thus become a bit of trainwreck.
Drama can teach character not just being a character but also being of one of good character. However, at the same time it can bring out a nasty side to people. Shows can be stressing very stressing if one isn't doing a good job or one thing itself isn't complete. During The Good Woman of Setzuan I experienced tension between myself and some of the cast members even spewing into a bit of an argument. Most times it was a misunderstanding but others was just my ego showing.
As much as I loved portraying "The Old Man", each day I grew impatient with people to the point where it would show when I walked off the stage. My impatience and stress stemmed initially from an incident that occured the previous month at my church but it was my boredom with sitting backstage but as the production continued I learned patience. Overall, Drama has been one of my favorite experiences of my life and I cannot wait til Drama II next semester.
Theatre has been around since the beginning of time. It is people appearing on stage and pretending to be something they're not or in Matt Johnson's case in The Good Woman of Setzuan portraying themselves ;)(j/k). However, there are three different eras of Theatre: Classic, Medieval, and Post-Modern. In Drama, we read six plays from those time periods: Oedipus Rex, Oedipus at Colonus, Antigone, A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Hairy Ape, and Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mama's Hung you in the Closet and I'm So Sad. All six of these plays represented their era well.
Oedipus Rex was a Greek play written in B.C. times. The play is the story is that years ago the King was murdered and years later the people of the kingdom the King ruled are paying for it. The character, Oedipus is now King and fears that an old prophecy saying he would kill his dad and marry his mother. Oedipus begins to recall a murder he committed years ago in the same area the King was murdered. At the end, Oedipus realizes he killed his father and gouges his eyes out because he was "blind" to the truth and leaves the Kingdom.
Oedipus Rex is an example of Classical Theatre because its main character, Oedipus is basically disrespectful towards the Gods and it is his selfishness that leads to his ultimate downfall. Another example is the chorus which was very prominant in Greek times for the Chorus always spoke and praised the Gods. A Midsummer Summer Night's Dream is an example of Medieval Theatre because it involved sexual themes which was common in plays at the time because in the Dark Ages they were forbidden to display it. The Hairy Ape was a demonstration of a modern play because it demonstrates modern elements to a play such as a realistic plot and use of many characters.
While all of these are normal plays Oh Dad, Poor Dad was the case of something completely different. Oh Dad, Poor Dad was an example of a post-modern play in the sense that it was something completely different. We call this the Absurdist Movement. The absurdist movement began in the late-50's and was an example of destroying realistic theatre. Oh Dad, Poor Dad did just that with its bizarre plot involving a mother who keeps her son under locks and dead husband in the closet just as the title says.
The absurdist movement mission was to destroy realistic theatre and this story did just that as moments in the play such as Jonathan's awkward studdering and the seduction scene with Rosalie and the details of use of Plants and Fish as actual characters. These are the plays and waht they represent
The class itself has taught me a lot of things. One thing it taught me was the sense of teamwork. The sense had always been in my mindset but never really in me. The production of The Good Woman of Setzuan showed me the emphasis on the term "teamwork". If one small part of the show wasn't working then the show itself would be doomed for failure.
An example of this is lines. If someone doesn't get their lines right then there would be a major issue to the point where we experience awkward phrases, dialouge, and pauses. Miscues could also occur causing the show to have complete failure. Imagine if during the fight scene that Jacob and Tom accidently fell back and destroyed the fake wall not only would they be in major trouble but it exposes the backstage showing the stage crew and literally killing the visual effects of the show. The show would therefore be ruined and thus become a bit of trainwreck.
Drama can teach character not just being a character but also being of one of good character. However, at the same time it can bring out a nasty side to people. Shows can be stressing very stressing if one isn't doing a good job or one thing itself isn't complete. During The Good Woman of Setzuan I experienced tension between myself and some of the cast members even spewing into a bit of an argument. Most times it was a misunderstanding but others was just my ego showing.
As much as I loved portraying "The Old Man", each day I grew impatient with people to the point where it would show when I walked off the stage. My impatience and stress stemmed initially from an incident that occured the previous month at my church but it was my boredom with sitting backstage but as the production continued I learned patience. Overall, Drama has been one of my favorite experiences of my life and I cannot wait til Drama II next semester.
Theatre has been around since the beginning of time. It is people appearing on stage and pretending to be something they're not or in Matt Johnson's case in The Good Woman of Setzuan portraying themselves ;)(j/k). However, there are three different eras of Theatre: Classic, Medieval, and Post-Modern. In Drama, we read six plays from those time periods: Oedipus Rex, Oedipus at Colonus, Antigone, A Midsummer Night's Dream, The Hairy Ape, and Oh Dad, Poor Dad, Mama's Hung you in the Closet and I'm So Sad. All six of these plays represented their era well.
Oedipus Rex was a Greek play written in B.C. times. The play is the story is that years ago the King was murdered and years later the people of the kingdom the King ruled are paying for it. The character, Oedipus is now King and fears that an old prophecy saying he would kill his dad and marry his mother. Oedipus begins to recall a murder he committed years ago in the same area the King was murdered. At the end, Oedipus realizes he killed his father and gouges his eyes out because he was "blind" to the truth and leaves the Kingdom.
Oedipus Rex is an example of Classical Theatre because its main character, Oedipus is basically disrespectful towards the Gods and it is his selfishness that leads to his ultimate downfall. Another example is the chorus which was very prominant in Greek times for the Chorus always spoke and praised the Gods. A Midsummer Summer Night's Dream is an example of Medieval Theatre because it involved sexual themes which was common in plays at the time because in the Dark Ages they were forbidden to display it. The Hairy Ape was a demonstration of a modern play because it demonstrates modern elements to a play such as a realistic plot and use of many characters.
While all of these are normal plays Oh Dad, Poor Dad was the case of something completely different. Oh Dad, Poor Dad was an example of a post-modern play in the sense that it was something completely different. We call this the Absurdist Movement. The absurdist movement began in the late-50's and was an example of destroying realistic theatre. Oh Dad, Poor Dad did just that with its bizarre plot involving a mother who keeps her son under locks and dead husband in the closet just as the title says.
The absurdist movement mission was to destroy realistic theatre and this story did just that as moments in the play such as Jonathan's awkward studdering and the seduction scene with Rosalie and the details of use of Plants and Fish as actual characters. These are the plays and waht they represent
Saturday, May 31, 2008
"Don't Look Back"
Don't Look Back is scheduled to be filming from August 21,2008-Graduation 2009. It is a documentary about the Seniors in Boonsboro. I'm looking for people willing to be videotaped and people willing to appear and do various segments on the film. It will be edited next summer and hopefully released to DVD in August 2009.
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Scene 13
Scene 13
(We find Arthur back at his house, he grabs a knife from the kitchen. He walks outside and sees Kurt, Tim, and Stanley)
Arthur:Why are you guys still here?
Stanley:You helped us bail out so we can help you
Tim:Yeah sounds like them boys down at the lumber yard gave you a bad deal
Kurt:We want to prove you innocent Art
Arthur:Gee thanks guys
Stanley:Come on we only got limited time before the cops get here lets hurry!
(They head off around the back of the house. Meanwhile we find Roach at the Lumber Yard smoking. Ernie walks up to him)
Ernie:Kind of nervous
Roach:Why's that, Ern?
Ernie:I don't know no one buys that Art did the crime
Roach:Look Ernie he's in jail, he can't do anything about it. Janet can tell all she wants about that night but the cops ain't going to believe her and even if they do, we're in Michigan across the lake is Canada. They can't get us there, eh?
Ernie:I guess your right
(Suddenly Bobby Blue pulls up in the car)
Bobby Blue:Boss listen to this
(He turns up the radio)
Radio Announcer:As many of you may have heard already be on the look out for 4 teens who escaped from Prison tonight. They're beating identified as Stanley Stirrup, Tim Thomas, Kurt Kolebain, and Arthur Bartley. They're all under 20, unarmed, and may be wearing orange jumpsuits.
Roach:Eh, don't sweat it he don't have the stuff to come here and beat us.
Ernie:Well I guess we're ok hey I'm headin to my old man's place, you guys want some smokes?
Roach:Sure get 5 packs I'm runnin low
(Ernie gets on his bike and rides down the road. He rides his bike a few blocks down the road before wrecking it. He falls into the bushes. He gets up and out of nowhere Arthur pushes him against a cage wall with a knife to his throat)
Ernie(breathing heavily):Oh hey Art, whats up chum?
Arthur:Where is he?
Ernie(scared):Who Art? Who?
Arthur(pushing the knife closer to throat):You know who
Ernie(scared):Look Art, I swear buddy I didn't tell the cops
Arthur:Don't lie to me, Ernie
Ernie(beginning to cry):Look, I'm sorry Art, I'm sorry
(Arthur throws him to the ground)
Arthur:Sorry ain't cutting it, Ernie. Why did you do it?
Ernie(full on crying):Do what Art?
Arthur:You kicked me in the head last night. Friends don't do that to each other especially friends of 15 years. Does 15 years mean anything to you, Ern?
Ernie(beginning to stop):It does Art, it does!
Arthur:Then take us to Roach, now!
Ernie(still crying a tad):Look I promised Roach I wouldn't tell
Arthur:You promised a lot, Ern, you said you'd never betray me, now here we are, I running from the law and your the snitch that told.
Ernie(crying):Fine I'll show you, Art I'll show you
Arthur:Good
(Ernie goes to get on his bike but Arthur takes it away)
Arthur:I bike you walk
(Ernie walks ahead while Arthur, Stanley, Kurt, and Tim follow along on bikes. Meanwhile at Arthur's house, Janet and his family arrives)
Major:Jeez what happened here?
Lillian:I think he was here
Jessie:I found a note on the table(she reads it):Dear Mom and Dad, I've headed off to find Roach I want to proove my innocence but it won't be easy
Major:Well where can we find Roach
Janet:We can try the Lumber Yard down by the lake, we got to hurry before something happens.
(They get in a car, across town we find that Arthur, Ernie, Tim, Kurt, and Stanley have arrived)
Ernie:There, he we are
Arthur:Good now you get out of here before you get hurt too, Ernie
Ernie:Fine, Art, but your gonna regret this
(Ernie rides off in his bike)
Arthur(yelling):Roach! I'm here for your business
(Roach appears on top of a pile of lumber)
Roach:I was expectin you, Art. I see you've brought yourself a little army of connies. Get em boys!
(Bobby Blue appears)
Arthur:Wait you said boys
Kurt:Yeah what gives?
Roach:Well he can account for 2 or 3 people
Bobby Blue:Hey I take offense to that
Roach:Shut up fat boy
Bobby Blue:Hey, you know what? I'm tired of being your fat and I'm tired of you making fun of me, I have feelings too
Roach:Who pays for your meals?
Bobby Blue:You
Roach:Who fixed ya car?
Bobby Blue:You
Roach:Who did your sister?
Bobby Blue:You
Roach:My point exactly now get em!
(Arthur, Tim, Kurt, and Stanley charge for him only to get knocked over. They all circle around him and jump only to be pushed off again)
Tim:He ain't goin down
(They huddle. All 4 charge at once and keep changing direction. Eventually they run in a circle around him. Bobby Blue gets confused and dizzy. Eventually they stop and knock him over from behind onto the ground. Bobby Blue gets up and gets his knee chopped down from behind by Tim. They all dive on him at once. Kurt pulls a rope out of his pocket and ties Bobby Blue's leg to a 2X4 board underneath several other boards)
Arthur:Lets split up, Stanley you go with me. Tim and Kurt you go a different direction we're going. Lets find Thunder and Lightning. They both got dark hair and wear leather jackets and dark jeans
(Arthur and Stanley go around the outside to look while Kurt and Tim head to the inside to find them. As Kurt and Tim run, they are whacked in the head by 2 2x6's. Thunder and Lightning appear out of nowhere)
Tom Thunder:2 down, 2 to go
(Thunder and Lightning go back into the side. Meanwhile Arthur and Stanley look and walk around the corner heading towards them)
Johnny Lightning:Here they come
(Arthur and Stanley run full speed in the area looking up, down, left, and right to find them. As they head toward where Thunder and Lightning are, they are tripped by their 2x6's and fall to the ground hard. Thunder and Lightning appear from out of the shadows. Thunder grabs Art and pushes him into the lumber pile and slaps him around while Lightning slaps Stanley around.)
Tom Thunder:Johnny, get your guitar ready time to play some sweet 6 string bash
(Lightning picks up a guitar from where they were hiding and holds it up while Thunder holds Arthur. As Lightning approaches him, Arthur head butts him with the back of his head, slips out and Lightning accidently nails Thunder with the guitar. Lightning looks on stunned as Arthur strikes him in the face, shoves him into the lumber pile, punches him in the stomach, and throws him into Thunder knocking them both over and into the lumber pile which collapses. Before it can fall, Arthur pulls Stanley away and the pile collapses onto Thunder and Lightning(don't ask how this is possible I just need a way to write them off).)
Arthur:You alright Stan?
Stanley:I think so
(Kurt and Tim get up)
Kurt:What happened
Arthur:We took out Thunder and Lightning now Roach is the only one left. I can take him, you all get out of here. Theres a boatyard a few miles away. Heres some money for the boat take it and head to Canada
Stanley:Thanks Art, it's been nice knowing you
Arthur:Thank you guys, good luck on your band and for this
Stanley:Get em Art, get em
(Stanley, Kurt, and Tim run off. Arthur goes looking around for him. Just as Arthur rounds the corner his family and Janet arrive they spot him getting out and Janet goes after him)
Jessie:Janet, come back!
Janet:You go get the police, tell them we found the real robbers and get them over here immediately
Jessie:What about you?
Janet:I'll be fine
(Jessie, Lillian, and Major drive off to get the police. Meanwhile Arthur goes around the corner and finds Roach attempting to escape on a boat)
Arthur:So it comes down to this?
Roach:How in the hell did you get through the gang?
Arthur:Well it started when you ran away you see Bobby Blue gets dizzy from watching people run so we knocked him over and tied him to the lumber pile. Thunder and Lightning was a shock to me because I didn't expect them to fight so poorly.
Roach:I guess I should've just left
Arthur:You should've. Now lets settle this mono e mono
(Suddenly Janet appears from around the corner)
Janet:Arthur!
Arthur:Janet!
(Ernie sneaks from behind)
Arthur:Watch out!
(Ernie puts his hand on Janet's mouth and pulls out a gun)
Ernie:Make one more mouth Art and Janet gets it
Arthur:Come on Ernie you can't do this to her
Ernie:I do what I damn well please I ain't lettin some dork tell me what to do no longer
Arthur:Ernie, I've been your best friend for 15 years Janet's been your friend for 10, can you at least show some sympathy
Ernie:I ain't got no sympathy, Art. All I got is my smokes, my gun, and the money
Roach:Thats my buddy now lets put a cap in these losers and head to Canada
(Ernie draws his gun towards Roach)
Ernie:I'm afraid it won't be happenin, Todd
Roach:You lyin back stabbin son of a...
Ernie(getting angry):I'm warning you Todd you make a move to and it'll be a trip of 3 straight to hell
Arthur:Just put the gun down, Ernie
Ernie(aiming to Arthur):Shut up, I don't have to hear your crap you whiny little freak
(Just as Ernie is yelling at Arthur, Roach makes a run for it but is shot in the back by Ernie. Janet screams)
Ernie:Now just get the money from Roach, Art and things will be fine. I'll take the boat and you'll never see me again
Arthur:Alright fine
(Arthur walks over to the money bag and takes it from Roach's body. He walks slowly toward Ernie)
Arthur:You want it? Hear it is
(He throws up in the air. Ernie looks up to catch it and at that moment Janet bites his arm and he drops the gun. Arthur runs to get it and they fight on the ground for it and accidently knock it into the boat. Ernie has Arthur pinned to the ground when Janet gets on his back and claws at his eyes. Ernie gets up and throws Janet down. Upon seeing the fallen Janet, Arthur runs up and tackles Ernie to the ground delivering fist after fist to the face of Ernie. Ernie turns Arthur over and they brawl on the ground. Police sirens are heard in the air. Meanwhile Ernie and Arthur continue the fight. The police arrive and tackle Arthur.)
Janet:Wait you got the wrong guy
(While Arthur is being taken down, Ernie grabs for the gun and turns to fire at Arthur but Janet jumps on his back again covering his face he drops the gun into the water and drops Janet onto the ground. Arthur breaks free of the police and tackles Ernie again. Arthur starts pounding on Ernie again busting his face open. The police get him off of Ernie and arrests the both of them.)
Ernie:Officers, he's the man who robbed the store last night and the man who shot the cat over there
Arthur:Officers, I swear on my life it was he who committed the crime
Officer:Well tell us young lady who was it?
Janet:It was Ernie. he was the one who did it
Ernie:Darnit I knew 2 on 1 was a bad spot
(Ernie is arrested and taken to a police car there Arthur talks to him)
Arthur:Ern, look I'm sorry but you betrayed me
Ernie:Stuff your sorries in your sack because when I get out of this joint, it'll be your blood
(The police car is driven away by an officer. The Sheriff walks up to Arthur)
Arthur:Let me ask you, sir, what drives someone so good to so much evil
Sheriff:Some say its the parents, they're not good to the kid and the kid finds themselves with no guidance or direction. Without that society itself would collapse. Thats why you people(talking to audience)should take a stand for the events you just witnessed here are things that can happen to anybody or anything anywhere. It can happen to your friends, your son, your daughter, your niece, your nephew, your brother, your sister and can even happen...to you. So take a stance America fight this evilness known as Juvenile Deliquency. Its a cancer, a disturbing cancer sweeping the nation corrupting the lives of our children. To prevent what you've just witnessed happen get your sons or daughters in a good Catholic based school or put them on sports. Volleyball, Baseball, Football, and/or Basketball coaches can be guidance for them towards a better life and when they turn 18 send your young boys to the Army and the young girls to a perfectly fine suitor for the decisions you make affect the future of our great American society.
Arthur:I was just asking a question
Sheriff:And I was just answering it....any idea where the other boys are at?
Arthur:2 are buried under lumber and the other is tied to a pile]
Sheriff:What about The Staples?
Arthur:Couldn't tell you
Sheriff:Why not?
Arthur:I don't betray friends
Sheriff:What about Ernie?
Arthur:He betrayed me first
Sheriff:Well played Bartley, well played
(The Sheriff leaves and Janet walks back over)
Janet:Tough week, eh?
Arthur:We're not in Canada
Janet:We're still in Michigan
Arthur:No one in Michigan says "Eh?"
Janet:Eh?
Arthur:Nevermind
Janet:Arthur.... I want to tell you something...private
(They walk over away from everybody else and in front of a building)
Janet:Arthur, about last night
Arthur:Look I know what happened but...
Janet:I do too and this morning I found out...I'm pregnaut!
Arthur:Oh jeez you actually had me going for a second
Janet:Its still April Fools, Arthur
Arthur:It is? Jeez what a slow week
Janet:What were you expecting?
Arthur:Well I certainly expecting the Spanish Inquisition
(Loud music blurs as the Spanish Inquisition pops out from the building)
Cardinal Ximenex:Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
(Out of nowhere the building pops completely open as MEL BROOKS dressed as Torquemada and other back-ups singers appear)
Torquemada and (Back-up Singers):The Inquisition (Let's begin)The Inquisition (Look out sin)We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew)We're gonna teach them wrong from right.We're gonna help them see the lightand make an offer that they can't refuse. (That those Jews just can't refuse)Confess, don't be boringSay yes, don't be dull.A fact you're ignoring:It's better to lose your skull cap than your skull (or your govalt!)The Inquisition (what a show)The Inquistion (here we go)We know you're wishin' that we'd go away.But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!
Ernie:I was sitting in a temple. I was minding my own business.I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass.Then these Papus persons plungered and they throw me in a dungeon and they shove a red hot poker up my ass.Is that considerate? Is that polite?And not a tube of Preperation H in sight!
Roach:I'm sittin' flickin' chickens and I'm lookin' throught the pickins' and suddenly thes goyim pull down valls.I didn't even know them and they grabbed my by the stoghum and started playing ping pong with my balls!Ooh, the agony! Ooh, the shame!To make my privates public for a game?
(Torquemada and back-up singers re-appear)
Torquemada and (back-up singers)The Inquisition (what a show)The Inquisition (here we go)We know you're wishin' that we'd go away. But the Inquisition's here and it's here to-(Stanley and the Staples appear interrupting Torquemada)
Stanley and the Staples:Hey Toquemada, what do you say.
Torquemada:I just got back from the Auto-de-fe.
Stanley and the Staples:Auto-de-fe? What's an Auto-de-fe?
Torquemada:It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway.Skit skat do ba de day(To Arthur and Janet)Will you convert?
Janet and Arthur:No, no, no, no.
Torquemada:Will you confess?
Janet and Arthur:No, no, no, no.
Torquemada:Will you revert?
Janet and Arthur:No, no, no, no.
Torquemada:Will you say yes?
Janet and Arthur:No, no, no, no.
Torquemada:Now I asked in a nice way, I said, "Pretty please."I bent their ears, now I'll work on their knees!
(He hits the cast in the knees like keyboards in a row)
The Back-up Singers:Hey Toquemada, walk this way. We got a little game that you might wanna play, so pull that handle, try you're luck.Sheriff:Who knows, Toq, you might win a buck!
Torquemada:Alright(He proceeds to play the slots using members of the cast and gets the same 3 numbers and money pours out)
(Torquemada walks over to Roach, Ernie, Bobby Blue, Thunder and Lightning)
Torquemada:How we doin', any converts today?
Roach, Ernie, Bobby Blue, Thunder and Lightning:Not a one, nay, nay, nay.
Torquemada:We flattened their fingers, we branded their buns!Nothing is working! Send in the nuns!
(Suddenly several diving boards are erected by the lake as Norma, Jessie, and Lillian get on diving boards dressed as nuns and dive into the water swimming with the cast. Soon they rise on a giant "J" and Torquemada re-appears. They all get in a line in front of the lake and sing)
The Entire Cast:The Inquisition, what a show.The Inquisition, here we go.We know you're wishin' that we'd go away!So all you Muslims and you JewsWe got big news for all of yous:You'd better change your point of views TODAY!'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!
(Everything turns black but light returns with a courtroom scene)
Judge:Mr.Basford you are being charged with the crime of plaigerism. How do you plea?
Joey Basford:Extremely Guilty
Judge:Well Mr.Basford, you have two options go to prison...
Joey Basford:Well Judge I'd do anything for love...but I won't do that
Judge:...or pay back the people you plagerized from despite getting permission to plagerize
Joey Basford:I'll take Jail
(We go to a shot of a poster saying, "Joey Basford Presents...The 50's Reborn!" The poster rises revealing Joey on a mic, Matt Johnson on Guitar, and Jacob Reese on Drums. They proceed to perform Jailhouse Rock as the cast comes out and takes a bow.)
The End
(We find Arthur back at his house, he grabs a knife from the kitchen. He walks outside and sees Kurt, Tim, and Stanley)
Arthur:Why are you guys still here?
Stanley:You helped us bail out so we can help you
Tim:Yeah sounds like them boys down at the lumber yard gave you a bad deal
Kurt:We want to prove you innocent Art
Arthur:Gee thanks guys
Stanley:Come on we only got limited time before the cops get here lets hurry!
(They head off around the back of the house. Meanwhile we find Roach at the Lumber Yard smoking. Ernie walks up to him)
Ernie:Kind of nervous
Roach:Why's that, Ern?
Ernie:I don't know no one buys that Art did the crime
Roach:Look Ernie he's in jail, he can't do anything about it. Janet can tell all she wants about that night but the cops ain't going to believe her and even if they do, we're in Michigan across the lake is Canada. They can't get us there, eh?
Ernie:I guess your right
(Suddenly Bobby Blue pulls up in the car)
Bobby Blue:Boss listen to this
(He turns up the radio)
Radio Announcer:As many of you may have heard already be on the look out for 4 teens who escaped from Prison tonight. They're beating identified as Stanley Stirrup, Tim Thomas, Kurt Kolebain, and Arthur Bartley. They're all under 20, unarmed, and may be wearing orange jumpsuits.
Roach:Eh, don't sweat it he don't have the stuff to come here and beat us.
Ernie:Well I guess we're ok hey I'm headin to my old man's place, you guys want some smokes?
Roach:Sure get 5 packs I'm runnin low
(Ernie gets on his bike and rides down the road. He rides his bike a few blocks down the road before wrecking it. He falls into the bushes. He gets up and out of nowhere Arthur pushes him against a cage wall with a knife to his throat)
Ernie(breathing heavily):Oh hey Art, whats up chum?
Arthur:Where is he?
Ernie(scared):Who Art? Who?
Arthur(pushing the knife closer to throat):You know who
Ernie(scared):Look Art, I swear buddy I didn't tell the cops
Arthur:Don't lie to me, Ernie
Ernie(beginning to cry):Look, I'm sorry Art, I'm sorry
(Arthur throws him to the ground)
Arthur:Sorry ain't cutting it, Ernie. Why did you do it?
Ernie(full on crying):Do what Art?
Arthur:You kicked me in the head last night. Friends don't do that to each other especially friends of 15 years. Does 15 years mean anything to you, Ern?
Ernie(beginning to stop):It does Art, it does!
Arthur:Then take us to Roach, now!
Ernie(still crying a tad):Look I promised Roach I wouldn't tell
Arthur:You promised a lot, Ern, you said you'd never betray me, now here we are, I running from the law and your the snitch that told.
Ernie(crying):Fine I'll show you, Art I'll show you
Arthur:Good
(Ernie goes to get on his bike but Arthur takes it away)
Arthur:I bike you walk
(Ernie walks ahead while Arthur, Stanley, Kurt, and Tim follow along on bikes. Meanwhile at Arthur's house, Janet and his family arrives)
Major:Jeez what happened here?
Lillian:I think he was here
Jessie:I found a note on the table(she reads it):Dear Mom and Dad, I've headed off to find Roach I want to proove my innocence but it won't be easy
Major:Well where can we find Roach
Janet:We can try the Lumber Yard down by the lake, we got to hurry before something happens.
(They get in a car, across town we find that Arthur, Ernie, Tim, Kurt, and Stanley have arrived)
Ernie:There, he we are
Arthur:Good now you get out of here before you get hurt too, Ernie
Ernie:Fine, Art, but your gonna regret this
(Ernie rides off in his bike)
Arthur(yelling):Roach! I'm here for your business
(Roach appears on top of a pile of lumber)
Roach:I was expectin you, Art. I see you've brought yourself a little army of connies. Get em boys!
(Bobby Blue appears)
Arthur:Wait you said boys
Kurt:Yeah what gives?
Roach:Well he can account for 2 or 3 people
Bobby Blue:Hey I take offense to that
Roach:Shut up fat boy
Bobby Blue:Hey, you know what? I'm tired of being your fat and I'm tired of you making fun of me, I have feelings too
Roach:Who pays for your meals?
Bobby Blue:You
Roach:Who fixed ya car?
Bobby Blue:You
Roach:Who did your sister?
Bobby Blue:You
Roach:My point exactly now get em!
(Arthur, Tim, Kurt, and Stanley charge for him only to get knocked over. They all circle around him and jump only to be pushed off again)
Tim:He ain't goin down
(They huddle. All 4 charge at once and keep changing direction. Eventually they run in a circle around him. Bobby Blue gets confused and dizzy. Eventually they stop and knock him over from behind onto the ground. Bobby Blue gets up and gets his knee chopped down from behind by Tim. They all dive on him at once. Kurt pulls a rope out of his pocket and ties Bobby Blue's leg to a 2X4 board underneath several other boards)
Arthur:Lets split up, Stanley you go with me. Tim and Kurt you go a different direction we're going. Lets find Thunder and Lightning. They both got dark hair and wear leather jackets and dark jeans
(Arthur and Stanley go around the outside to look while Kurt and Tim head to the inside to find them. As Kurt and Tim run, they are whacked in the head by 2 2x6's. Thunder and Lightning appear out of nowhere)
Tom Thunder:2 down, 2 to go
(Thunder and Lightning go back into the side. Meanwhile Arthur and Stanley look and walk around the corner heading towards them)
Johnny Lightning:Here they come
(Arthur and Stanley run full speed in the area looking up, down, left, and right to find them. As they head toward where Thunder and Lightning are, they are tripped by their 2x6's and fall to the ground hard. Thunder and Lightning appear from out of the shadows. Thunder grabs Art and pushes him into the lumber pile and slaps him around while Lightning slaps Stanley around.)
Tom Thunder:Johnny, get your guitar ready time to play some sweet 6 string bash
(Lightning picks up a guitar from where they were hiding and holds it up while Thunder holds Arthur. As Lightning approaches him, Arthur head butts him with the back of his head, slips out and Lightning accidently nails Thunder with the guitar. Lightning looks on stunned as Arthur strikes him in the face, shoves him into the lumber pile, punches him in the stomach, and throws him into Thunder knocking them both over and into the lumber pile which collapses. Before it can fall, Arthur pulls Stanley away and the pile collapses onto Thunder and Lightning(don't ask how this is possible I just need a way to write them off).)
Arthur:You alright Stan?
Stanley:I think so
(Kurt and Tim get up)
Kurt:What happened
Arthur:We took out Thunder and Lightning now Roach is the only one left. I can take him, you all get out of here. Theres a boatyard a few miles away. Heres some money for the boat take it and head to Canada
Stanley:Thanks Art, it's been nice knowing you
Arthur:Thank you guys, good luck on your band and for this
Stanley:Get em Art, get em
(Stanley, Kurt, and Tim run off. Arthur goes looking around for him. Just as Arthur rounds the corner his family and Janet arrive they spot him getting out and Janet goes after him)
Jessie:Janet, come back!
Janet:You go get the police, tell them we found the real robbers and get them over here immediately
Jessie:What about you?
Janet:I'll be fine
(Jessie, Lillian, and Major drive off to get the police. Meanwhile Arthur goes around the corner and finds Roach attempting to escape on a boat)
Arthur:So it comes down to this?
Roach:How in the hell did you get through the gang?
Arthur:Well it started when you ran away you see Bobby Blue gets dizzy from watching people run so we knocked him over and tied him to the lumber pile. Thunder and Lightning was a shock to me because I didn't expect them to fight so poorly.
Roach:I guess I should've just left
Arthur:You should've. Now lets settle this mono e mono
(Suddenly Janet appears from around the corner)
Janet:Arthur!
Arthur:Janet!
(Ernie sneaks from behind)
Arthur:Watch out!
(Ernie puts his hand on Janet's mouth and pulls out a gun)
Ernie:Make one more mouth Art and Janet gets it
Arthur:Come on Ernie you can't do this to her
Ernie:I do what I damn well please I ain't lettin some dork tell me what to do no longer
Arthur:Ernie, I've been your best friend for 15 years Janet's been your friend for 10, can you at least show some sympathy
Ernie:I ain't got no sympathy, Art. All I got is my smokes, my gun, and the money
Roach:Thats my buddy now lets put a cap in these losers and head to Canada
(Ernie draws his gun towards Roach)
Ernie:I'm afraid it won't be happenin, Todd
Roach:You lyin back stabbin son of a...
Ernie(getting angry):I'm warning you Todd you make a move to and it'll be a trip of 3 straight to hell
Arthur:Just put the gun down, Ernie
Ernie(aiming to Arthur):Shut up, I don't have to hear your crap you whiny little freak
(Just as Ernie is yelling at Arthur, Roach makes a run for it but is shot in the back by Ernie. Janet screams)
Ernie:Now just get the money from Roach, Art and things will be fine. I'll take the boat and you'll never see me again
Arthur:Alright fine
(Arthur walks over to the money bag and takes it from Roach's body. He walks slowly toward Ernie)
Arthur:You want it? Hear it is
(He throws up in the air. Ernie looks up to catch it and at that moment Janet bites his arm and he drops the gun. Arthur runs to get it and they fight on the ground for it and accidently knock it into the boat. Ernie has Arthur pinned to the ground when Janet gets on his back and claws at his eyes. Ernie gets up and throws Janet down. Upon seeing the fallen Janet, Arthur runs up and tackles Ernie to the ground delivering fist after fist to the face of Ernie. Ernie turns Arthur over and they brawl on the ground. Police sirens are heard in the air. Meanwhile Ernie and Arthur continue the fight. The police arrive and tackle Arthur.)
Janet:Wait you got the wrong guy
(While Arthur is being taken down, Ernie grabs for the gun and turns to fire at Arthur but Janet jumps on his back again covering his face he drops the gun into the water and drops Janet onto the ground. Arthur breaks free of the police and tackles Ernie again. Arthur starts pounding on Ernie again busting his face open. The police get him off of Ernie and arrests the both of them.)
Ernie:Officers, he's the man who robbed the store last night and the man who shot the cat over there
Arthur:Officers, I swear on my life it was he who committed the crime
Officer:Well tell us young lady who was it?
Janet:It was Ernie. he was the one who did it
Ernie:Darnit I knew 2 on 1 was a bad spot
(Ernie is arrested and taken to a police car there Arthur talks to him)
Arthur:Ern, look I'm sorry but you betrayed me
Ernie:Stuff your sorries in your sack because when I get out of this joint, it'll be your blood
(The police car is driven away by an officer. The Sheriff walks up to Arthur)
Arthur:Let me ask you, sir, what drives someone so good to so much evil
Sheriff:Some say its the parents, they're not good to the kid and the kid finds themselves with no guidance or direction. Without that society itself would collapse. Thats why you people(talking to audience)should take a stand for the events you just witnessed here are things that can happen to anybody or anything anywhere. It can happen to your friends, your son, your daughter, your niece, your nephew, your brother, your sister and can even happen...to you. So take a stance America fight this evilness known as Juvenile Deliquency. Its a cancer, a disturbing cancer sweeping the nation corrupting the lives of our children. To prevent what you've just witnessed happen get your sons or daughters in a good Catholic based school or put them on sports. Volleyball, Baseball, Football, and/or Basketball coaches can be guidance for them towards a better life and when they turn 18 send your young boys to the Army and the young girls to a perfectly fine suitor for the decisions you make affect the future of our great American society.
Arthur:I was just asking a question
Sheriff:And I was just answering it....any idea where the other boys are at?
Arthur:2 are buried under lumber and the other is tied to a pile]
Sheriff:What about The Staples?
Arthur:Couldn't tell you
Sheriff:Why not?
Arthur:I don't betray friends
Sheriff:What about Ernie?
Arthur:He betrayed me first
Sheriff:Well played Bartley, well played
(The Sheriff leaves and Janet walks back over)
Janet:Tough week, eh?
Arthur:We're not in Canada
Janet:We're still in Michigan
Arthur:No one in Michigan says "Eh?"
Janet:Eh?
Arthur:Nevermind
Janet:Arthur.... I want to tell you something...private
(They walk over away from everybody else and in front of a building)
Janet:Arthur, about last night
Arthur:Look I know what happened but...
Janet:I do too and this morning I found out...I'm pregnaut!
Arthur:Oh jeez you actually had me going for a second
Janet:Its still April Fools, Arthur
Arthur:It is? Jeez what a slow week
Janet:What were you expecting?
Arthur:Well I certainly expecting the Spanish Inquisition
(Loud music blurs as the Spanish Inquisition pops out from the building)
Cardinal Ximenex:Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
(Out of nowhere the building pops completely open as MEL BROOKS dressed as Torquemada and other back-ups singers appear)
Torquemada and (Back-up Singers):The Inquisition (Let's begin)The Inquisition (Look out sin)We have a mission to convert the Jews (Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew, Jew)We're gonna teach them wrong from right.We're gonna help them see the lightand make an offer that they can't refuse. (That those Jews just can't refuse)Confess, don't be boringSay yes, don't be dull.A fact you're ignoring:It's better to lose your skull cap than your skull (or your govalt!)The Inquisition (what a show)The Inquistion (here we go)We know you're wishin' that we'd go away.But the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!
Ernie:I was sitting in a temple. I was minding my own business.I was listening to a lovely Hebrew mass.Then these Papus persons plungered and they throw me in a dungeon and they shove a red hot poker up my ass.Is that considerate? Is that polite?And not a tube of Preperation H in sight!
Roach:I'm sittin' flickin' chickens and I'm lookin' throught the pickins' and suddenly thes goyim pull down valls.I didn't even know them and they grabbed my by the stoghum and started playing ping pong with my balls!Ooh, the agony! Ooh, the shame!To make my privates public for a game?
(Torquemada and back-up singers re-appear)
Torquemada and (back-up singers)The Inquisition (what a show)The Inquisition (here we go)We know you're wishin' that we'd go away. But the Inquisition's here and it's here to-(Stanley and the Staples appear interrupting Torquemada)
Stanley and the Staples:Hey Toquemada, what do you say.
Torquemada:I just got back from the Auto-de-fe.
Stanley and the Staples:Auto-de-fe? What's an Auto-de-fe?
Torquemada:It's what you oughtn't to do but you do anyway.Skit skat do ba de day(To Arthur and Janet)Will you convert?
Janet and Arthur:No, no, no, no.
Torquemada:Will you confess?
Janet and Arthur:No, no, no, no.
Torquemada:Will you revert?
Janet and Arthur:No, no, no, no.
Torquemada:Will you say yes?
Janet and Arthur:No, no, no, no.
Torquemada:Now I asked in a nice way, I said, "Pretty please."I bent their ears, now I'll work on their knees!
(He hits the cast in the knees like keyboards in a row)
The Back-up Singers:Hey Toquemada, walk this way. We got a little game that you might wanna play, so pull that handle, try you're luck.Sheriff:Who knows, Toq, you might win a buck!
Torquemada:Alright(He proceeds to play the slots using members of the cast and gets the same 3 numbers and money pours out)
(Torquemada walks over to Roach, Ernie, Bobby Blue, Thunder and Lightning)
Torquemada:How we doin', any converts today?
Roach, Ernie, Bobby Blue, Thunder and Lightning:Not a one, nay, nay, nay.
Torquemada:We flattened their fingers, we branded their buns!Nothing is working! Send in the nuns!
(Suddenly several diving boards are erected by the lake as Norma, Jessie, and Lillian get on diving boards dressed as nuns and dive into the water swimming with the cast. Soon they rise on a giant "J" and Torquemada re-appears. They all get in a line in front of the lake and sing)
The Entire Cast:The Inquisition, what a show.The Inquisition, here we go.We know you're wishin' that we'd go away!So all you Muslims and you JewsWe got big news for all of yous:You'd better change your point of views TODAY!'Cause the Inquisition's here and it's here to stay!
(Everything turns black but light returns with a courtroom scene)
Judge:Mr.Basford you are being charged with the crime of plaigerism. How do you plea?
Joey Basford:Extremely Guilty
Judge:Well Mr.Basford, you have two options go to prison...
Joey Basford:Well Judge I'd do anything for love...but I won't do that
Judge:...or pay back the people you plagerized from despite getting permission to plagerize
Joey Basford:I'll take Jail
(We go to a shot of a poster saying, "Joey Basford Presents...The 50's Reborn!" The poster rises revealing Joey on a mic, Matt Johnson on Guitar, and Jacob Reese on Drums. They proceed to perform Jailhouse Rock as the cast comes out and takes a bow.)
The End
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Blue Denim Scenes 11 and 12
Scene 11
(We find Arthur in his bed the next morning, he gets up and goes down stairs where he finds two Police Officers in his living room)
Jessie:Oh Arthur, your up
Arthur:Yeah, w-what’s going on?
Officer 1:Look son, last night there was a robbery and several unanimous tips all point to you as being the one behind it
Arthur:That’s not true!
Officer 2: We’re afraid you’re going to have to come with us
Arthur: This is ridiculous, dad do something!
Major:Look, I know for a fact my boy is innocent
Officer 2:Sir, back away or we’ll have to take you in too
Major:I fought in World War II for this country and by god I demand some respect
Officer 1:Just back away sir and things will be fine, you can call your lawyer right now. Until then your son is a criminal under out custody
(Officer 1 puts handcuffs on Arthur and they take him away in a police cruiser as his neighbors watch on in disappointment)
(Meanwhile over at Janet’s house we find Janet walking out of the bathroom. She sits down at the table)
Janet:Oh gosh, I’m not feeling good
Norma:Why did you get in so late?
Janet:Nothing we just had some fun
Norma:Well, Lillian called and she wants to know what happened
Janet:Why?
Norma:Because Arthur is in jail
Janet:What? What happened?
Norma:They didn’t tell me, they just said they wanted to talk to you
Janet:Somethings up, come on lets go!
(We cut to the Jail cell where we find Arthur in the cell. There he finds 3 people)
Person 1:Well who is this new guy
Arthur:Arthur Bartley
Person 2:What are you in for?
Arthur:Robbery
Person 3:Dang kid
Arthur:Who are you guys?
Person 1:Stanley
Person 2:Kurt
Person 3:Tim
Stanley:We’re all in a band, Stanley and the Staples
Arthur:Oh
Kurt:We're looking into a plan for tonight. The prison is having a concert tonight and thats where we are going to make our escape. Can you sing?
Arthur:Well I don't know I've never really tried before
Kurt:Well its not that important of a gig so I guess you can sing but you gotta rally the crowd long enough to spark the riot then we leave and get out of here. I got a friend in England who knows a few things about music and we can be huge.
Arthur:I guess I'll do it
Stanley:Thats the spirit, I'll be on guitar, Kurt on drums, and Tim on bass. We'll be the final act tonight
Arthur:Alright
(We cut away from prison to find Janet running to Arthur's house. She knocks on the door and Jessie answers)Jessie:Hello?
Janet:Mrs.Bartley, where is Arthur
Jessie:He was arrested this morning for robbery
Janet:Mrs.Bartley, I was there last night and he did not commit the crime. It was those boys, Roach, Bobby Blue, Tommy, Johnny, and Ernie
Jessie:We got to get to the police I hope its not too late
End Scene 11
Scene 12
(Its night time in the jail)Warden:Welcome everybody to the 75th Annual Petapenpe Prison Prom...say that 75 times. Our first act is Soul Sammy and Six Singers
(7 musicians get on stage and begin to perform meanwhile we find Arthur talking with Stanley backstage)Stanley:Alright Artie, know any songs
Arthur:Not really
Kurt:Don't feel bad we got one for you
(They show him a piece of paper)
Kurt:Just read the lyrics come in around 20 seconds into the guitar riff and read off the words
Warden:Next up in the Petapenpe Prison Prom is Stanley and the Staples with lead singer Arthur Bartley
Kurt:Here we go, kid
(Kurt, Tim, Stanley, and Arthur get on stage)
Stanley:Our first song is bound to be a riot and a half. Its Johnny B. Goode from the coolest cat this side of Connecticut, Chuck Berry
(Guitar riff)
Arthur(singing):
Deep down in Louisiana close to New OrleansWay back up on the woods among the evergreensThere stood an old cabin made of earth and woodWhere lived a country boy named Johnny B GoodeWho'd never ever learned to read or write so wellBut he could play a guitar just like a ringin' a bell
Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Johnny B. Goode!
He used to carry his guitar in a gurny sackGo sit beneath the tree by the railroad trackOld engineers in the train would see him him sittin' in the shadeStrummin' with the rhythm that the drivers madeThe people passed him by they would stop and sayOh my but that little country boy could play
Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Johnny B. Goode!
(Guitar Solo)(As Guitar Solo begins, Kurt kicks over the amplifier, and the band begins to smash their instruments at that moment a full on prison riot begins. Prisoners begin fighting off the guards. As the guards and prisoners fight, Arthur, Kurt, Tim, and Stanley escape through a back door at the prison and flee into the streets)
(Meanwhile at the Police Station we find Janet, Jessie, Lillian, Norma, and Major talking to the Sheriff)
Janet:Look officer I was with him last night and he did nothing wrong if anything Arthur is a victim of a heinous crime by a few boys
Sheriff:Well young lady can you describe these young boys?
Janet:Theres Roach, he was kicked out of school for destroying the Principal's car, he has black hair and wears a leather jacket, then Bobby Blue he's really big then Johnny and Tommy along with Ernie.
Sheriff:Well we can see if we can find them but til them I'm afraid Arthur Bartley is the prime suspect as we were told earlier by an anymonous tip by telephone
(A News bulletin pops up on TV)
News Reporter:We interupt this program to bring you this interuption, four teens have broken out of Pendepenpe Penitentary Prison. They are being identified as Stanley Stirrup, Tim Thomas, Kurt Kolebain, and Arthur Bartley, who is suspected in a robbery that occured last night at Emery Drug Store. We go to John Alexander with the report...
Jessie:Oh my goodness he's escaped
Sheriff:Typical jailbirds trying to escape what can of son is he
Major:A very good one officer, you'll find out he's innocent
End Scene 12
(We find Arthur in his bed the next morning, he gets up and goes down stairs where he finds two Police Officers in his living room)
Jessie:Oh Arthur, your up
Arthur:Yeah, w-what’s going on?
Officer 1:Look son, last night there was a robbery and several unanimous tips all point to you as being the one behind it
Arthur:That’s not true!
Officer 2: We’re afraid you’re going to have to come with us
Arthur: This is ridiculous, dad do something!
Major:Look, I know for a fact my boy is innocent
Officer 2:Sir, back away or we’ll have to take you in too
Major:I fought in World War II for this country and by god I demand some respect
Officer 1:Just back away sir and things will be fine, you can call your lawyer right now. Until then your son is a criminal under out custody
(Officer 1 puts handcuffs on Arthur and they take him away in a police cruiser as his neighbors watch on in disappointment)
(Meanwhile over at Janet’s house we find Janet walking out of the bathroom. She sits down at the table)
Janet:Oh gosh, I’m not feeling good
Norma:Why did you get in so late?
Janet:Nothing we just had some fun
Norma:Well, Lillian called and she wants to know what happened
Janet:Why?
Norma:Because Arthur is in jail
Janet:What? What happened?
Norma:They didn’t tell me, they just said they wanted to talk to you
Janet:Somethings up, come on lets go!
(We cut to the Jail cell where we find Arthur in the cell. There he finds 3 people)
Person 1:Well who is this new guy
Arthur:Arthur Bartley
Person 2:What are you in for?
Arthur:Robbery
Person 3:Dang kid
Arthur:Who are you guys?
Person 1:Stanley
Person 2:Kurt
Person 3:Tim
Stanley:We’re all in a band, Stanley and the Staples
Arthur:Oh
Kurt:We're looking into a plan for tonight. The prison is having a concert tonight and thats where we are going to make our escape. Can you sing?
Arthur:Well I don't know I've never really tried before
Kurt:Well its not that important of a gig so I guess you can sing but you gotta rally the crowd long enough to spark the riot then we leave and get out of here. I got a friend in England who knows a few things about music and we can be huge.
Arthur:I guess I'll do it
Stanley:Thats the spirit, I'll be on guitar, Kurt on drums, and Tim on bass. We'll be the final act tonight
Arthur:Alright
(We cut away from prison to find Janet running to Arthur's house. She knocks on the door and Jessie answers)Jessie:Hello?
Janet:Mrs.Bartley, where is Arthur
Jessie:He was arrested this morning for robbery
Janet:Mrs.Bartley, I was there last night and he did not commit the crime. It was those boys, Roach, Bobby Blue, Tommy, Johnny, and Ernie
Jessie:We got to get to the police I hope its not too late
End Scene 11
Scene 12
(Its night time in the jail)Warden:Welcome everybody to the 75th Annual Petapenpe Prison Prom...say that 75 times. Our first act is Soul Sammy and Six Singers
(7 musicians get on stage and begin to perform meanwhile we find Arthur talking with Stanley backstage)Stanley:Alright Artie, know any songs
Arthur:Not really
Kurt:Don't feel bad we got one for you
(They show him a piece of paper)
Kurt:Just read the lyrics come in around 20 seconds into the guitar riff and read off the words
Warden:Next up in the Petapenpe Prison Prom is Stanley and the Staples with lead singer Arthur Bartley
Kurt:Here we go, kid
(Kurt, Tim, Stanley, and Arthur get on stage)
Stanley:Our first song is bound to be a riot and a half. Its Johnny B. Goode from the coolest cat this side of Connecticut, Chuck Berry
(Guitar riff)
Arthur(singing):
Deep down in Louisiana close to New OrleansWay back up on the woods among the evergreensThere stood an old cabin made of earth and woodWhere lived a country boy named Johnny B GoodeWho'd never ever learned to read or write so wellBut he could play a guitar just like a ringin' a bell
Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Johnny B. Goode!
He used to carry his guitar in a gurny sackGo sit beneath the tree by the railroad trackOld engineers in the train would see him him sittin' in the shadeStrummin' with the rhythm that the drivers madeThe people passed him by they would stop and sayOh my but that little country boy could play
Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Go! Johnny!Go! Go! Johnny B. Goode!
(Guitar Solo)(As Guitar Solo begins, Kurt kicks over the amplifier, and the band begins to smash their instruments at that moment a full on prison riot begins. Prisoners begin fighting off the guards. As the guards and prisoners fight, Arthur, Kurt, Tim, and Stanley escape through a back door at the prison and flee into the streets)
(Meanwhile at the Police Station we find Janet, Jessie, Lillian, Norma, and Major talking to the Sheriff)
Janet:Look officer I was with him last night and he did nothing wrong if anything Arthur is a victim of a heinous crime by a few boys
Sheriff:Well young lady can you describe these young boys?
Janet:Theres Roach, he was kicked out of school for destroying the Principal's car, he has black hair and wears a leather jacket, then Bobby Blue he's really big then Johnny and Tommy along with Ernie.
Sheriff:Well we can see if we can find them but til them I'm afraid Arthur Bartley is the prime suspect as we were told earlier by an anymonous tip by telephone
(A News bulletin pops up on TV)
News Reporter:We interupt this program to bring you this interuption, four teens have broken out of Pendepenpe Penitentary Prison. They are being identified as Stanley Stirrup, Tim Thomas, Kurt Kolebain, and Arthur Bartley, who is suspected in a robbery that occured last night at Emery Drug Store. We go to John Alexander with the report...
Jessie:Oh my goodness he's escaped
Sheriff:Typical jailbirds trying to escape what can of son is he
Major:A very good one officer, you'll find out he's innocent
End Scene 12
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Blue Denim Scenes 9-10
Scene 9
(We find Arthur at his house with Roach, Tommy, Johnny, Bobby Blue, and Ernie)
(Jessie walks in with Lillian behind her)
Jessie:So Arthur, do you mind telling me who are these new friends of yours
Art:First off sweetheart, its Art, ya hear? Secondly they're Roach, Tommy, Johnny, and Bobby Blue
Jessie:Oh, hi boys, I can bake cookies if you want
Art:How bout it fellas?
Obscure Voices:Yeah Yeah sure
Art:You'd heard the men, mama make it chocolate chip
(Jessie walks out of the room)Roach:So Lillian, long time no see
Lillian:Not since graduation, oh wait you dropped out
(He gets up)
Roach(putting hands on her shoulders):Now don't throw that in my face, baby.
Lillian:The last time I saw you, you were in a police car for smashing Maggardy's car
Roach:The fat lard had it coming
Lillian:A lot of people had it coming. Remember David? Remember your ex?
Roach:I told you Lily don't throw that at me
Lillian:Ok...Todd
(He shoves her)
Roach(angered):I told you do NOT throw it in my face
Lillian(tearing up):You see what he just did
Art:You should've not have thrown it in his face
Lillian:Ernie, aren't you going to at least do something
Ernie:Eh, don't throw me in this
Lillian(crying):I can't believe you
(She runs up stairs. As this transpires Major walks in)
Major:What happened here?
Art:She threw it in Roach's face
Major:Whose Roach?
Roach:I'm Roach
Major:What did you say to my daughter?
Roach:I told her to not throw it in my face
Major:I think you better leave young man before I have to throw you out myself
Roach:Chill out gramps you'll crack a hip
Major:What did you say?
(Art steps in)
Art:Look fellas, Roach, dad, just chill be cool. Roach go ahead and leave I'll talk to ya tomorrow
Major:Get the rest of them out too
Art:You kiddin me?
Major:No Arthur, I'm serious, get them out
Art:Fine fellas I'll see you all tomorrow too
(They leave)Art:Jeez dad, did ya have to kick em out?
Major:Arthur, I'm all for you having friends and whatnot but in all honesty I'm not to "cool" with your new friends
Art:They're good guys pops
Major:And another thing what is it what these words you've been saying lately? Pops? Chill? Arthur this isn't you
Art:Dad first off, its Art, second thats how everyone talks these days. So get with the times old man
Major:Alright in your room, I'm not tolerating this.
Art:You ain't tellin me that
Major:Do it or your not going to that dance with Janet tomorrow night
Art(defeated):Fine
(He heads up stairs)
(Jessie walks in)
Jessie:What happened? Wheres the boys
Major:I sent them home
Jessie:Why did you do that?
Major:Its the crowd he's hanging with Jess, I'm not for it
Jessie:They seem like nice boys
Major:Thats how they get you. They play nice and act like good boys. But what you least suspect it, they're robbing banks and beating up on weaker children. That one boy is Dan Schmidt's boy. He got arrested for smashing the principal's car. A guy like that isn't a nice boy he is a thug a no good dirty rotten thug.
(While Major is talking music blares loudly coming from upstairs)
Major:Hey turn that racket off!
(Upstairs we see Art laying on his bed throwing a baseball up and down. Eventually Lillian comes in and turns it off)
Art:Eh! Whats your deal?
Lillian:You Art, you've been acting like a real jerk lately
Art:I can't see what you mean
Lillian:He struck me Art, he pushed me to the ground...and you did nothing about it!
Art:You pushed the envelope with him. You know he doesn't like being called Todd
Lillian:Art, he's a jerk, a real jerk. He smashed Maggardy's car, he put David Phillips in a wheelchair, even though he won't admit it I know it was him. His ex-girlfriend was always abused by him to the point where she had leave the state and change her name
Art(a tad concerned):Look Maggardy had it coming. The story I heard with David is that he was in a car wreck...
Lillian:He cut the breaks on David's car! He even bragged about it at school
Art:Lil, just listen, give the guy a chance, please? He's not the no good dirty scumbag you all seem to think he is
Lillian:Just listen to me. You're putting yourself in danger with this guy. He ain't no fun. He's practically all trouble and if your not careful he'll turn on you too
Art:Look I see this guy, I can trust him he can trust me and besides if he tries to pull something Ernie will back me up. So just get this "propaganda" out of my face and just leave me alone I gotta get ready for a date tomorrow night.
Lillian:Just watch your back
End Scene 9
Scene 10
(We find Art at the kitchen table the next day. Major walks in)
Major:So what time are we picking Janet up
Arthur:Around 6 I suppose
Major:Those boys going to be there?
Arthur:No dad, none of them go to the school besides Ernie and he's been suspended from all school activities
Major:Thats good, what time do you want to pick you all up?
Arthur:You don't have to, we get a ride back with friends
Major:Alright, here's the key to the house. Make sure you don't lose it
Arthur:I won't dad
Major:Nice to see you acting differently today
Arthur:I saw the error of my ways. Its like what Pastor Daugherty says, "Respect thy parents"
Major:Nice to see you have been listening at church for a change
Arthur:Without morals all society, itself would collapse and we'd all be cavemen
Major:Very true, son, very true
Arthur:I'm going to go take a walk
Major:Alright son, be back before the dance
(Arthur heads outside, gets on his bike and rides to the lumber yard)
(At the lumber yard we find Johnny, Tommy, Bobby Blue, Roach, and Ernie. Art arrives)
Roach:Well isn't it daddy's boy
Art:Look I had no other choice, it was either that or lose my date tonight
Roach:Whose the chick?
Art:Janet Williard
Roach:I know her sister, Norma. Or at least I knew her really well
(The group crackles)
Art:Ha ha ha yeah
Roach:You got a picture
Art:Not really
Roach:Well we'll meet yous twos at the dance tonight, what time?
Art:Around 10:30 I suppose
Roach:Aight we'll meet you 'round back
Art:Ok, look I need to talk to you about something
Roach:Listening
Art:Well my sister has been telling me a few things about....
Roach:About what? Those lies she says. Let me tell you something, Art, your sister isn't the sweet innocent girl she claims to be, back in school she was the biggest whore in the tri-state area, take it from a guy who knew her. The stuff about David and my ex are lies. David wrecked the car on his own and my ex-girlfriend was a lunatic so before she goes out and says those things about me she should get her facts straight. Trust me Art, listen to me you'll get far. Listen to her and you'll get nothin
Art:I guess your right
Roach:Art, I'm always right and you'll learn this as time goes on whatever Roach says goes
(Cut to Arthur's house where we find him downstairs)
Major:First date, son are you nervous?
Arthur:No dad I'm just the same as usual
Jessie:Oh Arthur, this is great, I got the camera ready and everything for you and Janet's first date
Major:Lets hear it for the potential of a long, beautiful relationship
Major, Jessie, and Lillian(raising glasses):Hooray!
(While this is transpiring Arthur keeps a concerned look on his face)
(We later find Jessie, Lillian, Art, and Major in the car heading to Janet's house, they arrive)
Major:Well what are you waiting for, go get the lucky lady
(Arthur gets out and walks up the stairs at her house. He knocks at the door and Norma answers)
Norma:Oh hey Art, she'll be down in a sec, come on in. Where's your sis at?
Arthur:She's in the car
(Arthur sits down as Norma walks outside. He looks around the house and daydreams a bit. Janet comes downstairs he looks up and gazes at her in amazement)
Janet:What do you think?
Arthur:I really don't know what to say
Janet(giggling):Well say something
Arthur:Something
Janet:Oh Art your silly
(Norma and Lillian walks in)
Lillian:Oh Janet you look fantastic
Janet:Thanks, Norma did my hair
Arthur:We better hurry up so we can get in before the line
Janet:Good idea, I'll see you later tonight, sis
Norma:Have fun you two
(Janet and Arthur get in the car, 20 minutes later they arrive at the dance)
(We fade into the dance where we find Arthur and Janet walking in)
Arthur:Well lets get this going
(They go in the center of the room and begin to dance)
NOTE:Due to the fact I do not feel like writing a dance sequence I'm going to go ahead and have you assume what happen then just continue writing because I am severely lazy when it comes to writing dance sequences
(TWO AND HALF HOURS LATER)
Janet:Arthur, I am having the best time of my life. I think its time we should go
Arthur:Alright
(They head outside and walk to the Park there they sit underneath a tree and look at the stars)
Arthur:Its like they're shining down on us
Janet:Yeah
Arthur:The future is getting bright Janet, we're just two shooting stars coming together
Janet:Arthur, I...
Arthur:I know what you want to say but let me say...
(Before he can finish Roach, Bobby Blue, Ernie, Johnny, and Tommy show up)
Roach:Well isn't it Art, where were ya buddy I said around back and you weren't there
Art:My bad, I just had to take care of business with this dame
(Janet gives Art a disgusted look)Roach:Well bring her along too we can all have some fun
Janet:I think you all can just carry on me and Arthur are enjoying the night
Art:Don't be silly Janet, we can have plenty of fun with Roach. What do you got in mind?
Roach:Nice to see it our way, Ernie you tell em the place
Ernie:Emery's Drug Store, old man Emery is loaded with cash in that register should be just enough to buy us a trip to Coney Island in the summer
Roach:And for some other things, come on lets go
Janet:Arthur, I really don't want to do this
Art:Look baby, I did my part for you and you should your part for me
(Janet just about defeated follows Art)
(Roach gets on his chopper while Thunder and Lightning take their car, while Janet, Arthur, and Ernie ride with Bobby Blue)
Janet(to Ernie):What are you thinking
Ernie:Look, its money Janet, somethin you don't know a thing about. We're doing this for a good cause. While old man Emery gets to blow his money on whatever we're sittin here dyin
Janet:The guy works hard, you shouldn't do this
Ernie:Look just sit back and relax alright and maybe you'll get a cookie or somethin for good behavior.
Bobby Blue:Just like her sister knows nothin but anything
(They arrive at Emery's Drug Store)
Roach:Alright fellas, Bobby you prank call the police and send them off away from here and I mean FAR away. Ernie you keep an eye out. Johnny, Tommy yous two take out anyone that gets near, Art, heres' your chance buddy. Take the crowbar and smash the window.
Art:I don't know, Roach how bout you do it you have more experience
Roach:Whaddya sayin?
Art:Nothing you have experience in breaking into stores like these
Roach:What are you some kind of chicken?
Arthur:No its just I don't want to do this anymore
Roach:Do it, Art unless your still the coward nerd who reads books on the weekends
Janet:Don't do it Arthur
Roach:Shut up, he listens to me
(He slaps Janet)
Arthur:Come on thats not called for!
Roach:You listen here, Art, when it comes to me and you your nothin and I'm something I can make you or I can break you so make your pick. You want me to hit her again? Break the window or your girlfriend will get a new face and it won't be pretty
(Arthur takes the crowbar and smashes it)
Roach:Haha thats my man, Quick Johnny, Tommy take the register
(Johnny and Tommy grab the register and take it)
Arthur:Alright I did what I had to do now leave her alone
Roach:Alright
(Roach shoves Janet from behind into the ground)
Arthur:Janet!
(He goes to the ground and holds her from behind Roach punches him in the side of the head. He falls over and tries to get up only to be triple teamed by Bobby Blue, Johnny, and Tommy. Throughout the sequence Janet pleads for them to stop but they keep hitting him. Roach gives him a final shot to the face and he falls to the ground. Arthur tries to get back up)
Everybody(to Ernie):Come on Ernie do it! do it!
Janet:Ernie please don't!
(Ernie looks at Bobby Blue, Tommy, Johnny, and Roach then at Janet then at Arthur. He hesitates for a second)
Ernie:Sorry buddy please forgive me
(As he says forgive me he nails Arthur with a kick to the head)
Roach:Come on fellas lets get out of here and if you two ever tell on us, I'll give you a beating worse than others I've given before
(Roach, Johnny, Tommy, Bobby Blue, and Ernie walk away as they walk away Ernie stops, looks back, turns around and continues walking)
Janet:Arthur, are you ok
Arthur(heavy breaths):Yeah lets just get out of here
(She helps him up and they walk down the sidewalk. They are able to find a taxi. They get into it and ride to Janet's house)
Arthur:I'm sorry about what happened earlier
Janet:Its alright I'm just glad we're safe.
Arthur:Janet..
Janet:Yes?
Arthur:I wanna be with you for the rest of my life. Our friendship has been the best part of my life so far and I think we should get together. So how about it?
Janet:Yes, I want to be with
(They engage looks at each other before finally kissing)
End Scene 10
(We find Arthur at his house with Roach, Tommy, Johnny, Bobby Blue, and Ernie)
(Jessie walks in with Lillian behind her)
Jessie:So Arthur, do you mind telling me who are these new friends of yours
Art:First off sweetheart, its Art, ya hear? Secondly they're Roach, Tommy, Johnny, and Bobby Blue
Jessie:Oh, hi boys, I can bake cookies if you want
Art:How bout it fellas?
Obscure Voices:Yeah Yeah sure
Art:You'd heard the men, mama make it chocolate chip
(Jessie walks out of the room)Roach:So Lillian, long time no see
Lillian:Not since graduation, oh wait you dropped out
(He gets up)
Roach(putting hands on her shoulders):Now don't throw that in my face, baby.
Lillian:The last time I saw you, you were in a police car for smashing Maggardy's car
Roach:The fat lard had it coming
Lillian:A lot of people had it coming. Remember David? Remember your ex?
Roach:I told you Lily don't throw that at me
Lillian:Ok...Todd
(He shoves her)
Roach(angered):I told you do NOT throw it in my face
Lillian(tearing up):You see what he just did
Art:You should've not have thrown it in his face
Lillian:Ernie, aren't you going to at least do something
Ernie:Eh, don't throw me in this
Lillian(crying):I can't believe you
(She runs up stairs. As this transpires Major walks in)
Major:What happened here?
Art:She threw it in Roach's face
Major:Whose Roach?
Roach:I'm Roach
Major:What did you say to my daughter?
Roach:I told her to not throw it in my face
Major:I think you better leave young man before I have to throw you out myself
Roach:Chill out gramps you'll crack a hip
Major:What did you say?
(Art steps in)
Art:Look fellas, Roach, dad, just chill be cool. Roach go ahead and leave I'll talk to ya tomorrow
Major:Get the rest of them out too
Art:You kiddin me?
Major:No Arthur, I'm serious, get them out
Art:Fine fellas I'll see you all tomorrow too
(They leave)Art:Jeez dad, did ya have to kick em out?
Major:Arthur, I'm all for you having friends and whatnot but in all honesty I'm not to "cool" with your new friends
Art:They're good guys pops
Major:And another thing what is it what these words you've been saying lately? Pops? Chill? Arthur this isn't you
Art:Dad first off, its Art, second thats how everyone talks these days. So get with the times old man
Major:Alright in your room, I'm not tolerating this.
Art:You ain't tellin me that
Major:Do it or your not going to that dance with Janet tomorrow night
Art(defeated):Fine
(He heads up stairs)
(Jessie walks in)
Jessie:What happened? Wheres the boys
Major:I sent them home
Jessie:Why did you do that?
Major:Its the crowd he's hanging with Jess, I'm not for it
Jessie:They seem like nice boys
Major:Thats how they get you. They play nice and act like good boys. But what you least suspect it, they're robbing banks and beating up on weaker children. That one boy is Dan Schmidt's boy. He got arrested for smashing the principal's car. A guy like that isn't a nice boy he is a thug a no good dirty rotten thug.
(While Major is talking music blares loudly coming from upstairs)
Major:Hey turn that racket off!
(Upstairs we see Art laying on his bed throwing a baseball up and down. Eventually Lillian comes in and turns it off)
Art:Eh! Whats your deal?
Lillian:You Art, you've been acting like a real jerk lately
Art:I can't see what you mean
Lillian:He struck me Art, he pushed me to the ground...and you did nothing about it!
Art:You pushed the envelope with him. You know he doesn't like being called Todd
Lillian:Art, he's a jerk, a real jerk. He smashed Maggardy's car, he put David Phillips in a wheelchair, even though he won't admit it I know it was him. His ex-girlfriend was always abused by him to the point where she had leave the state and change her name
Art(a tad concerned):Look Maggardy had it coming. The story I heard with David is that he was in a car wreck...
Lillian:He cut the breaks on David's car! He even bragged about it at school
Art:Lil, just listen, give the guy a chance, please? He's not the no good dirty scumbag you all seem to think he is
Lillian:Just listen to me. You're putting yourself in danger with this guy. He ain't no fun. He's practically all trouble and if your not careful he'll turn on you too
Art:Look I see this guy, I can trust him he can trust me and besides if he tries to pull something Ernie will back me up. So just get this "propaganda" out of my face and just leave me alone I gotta get ready for a date tomorrow night.
Lillian:Just watch your back
End Scene 9
Scene 10
(We find Art at the kitchen table the next day. Major walks in)
Major:So what time are we picking Janet up
Arthur:Around 6 I suppose
Major:Those boys going to be there?
Arthur:No dad, none of them go to the school besides Ernie and he's been suspended from all school activities
Major:Thats good, what time do you want to pick you all up?
Arthur:You don't have to, we get a ride back with friends
Major:Alright, here's the key to the house. Make sure you don't lose it
Arthur:I won't dad
Major:Nice to see you acting differently today
Arthur:I saw the error of my ways. Its like what Pastor Daugherty says, "Respect thy parents"
Major:Nice to see you have been listening at church for a change
Arthur:Without morals all society, itself would collapse and we'd all be cavemen
Major:Very true, son, very true
Arthur:I'm going to go take a walk
Major:Alright son, be back before the dance
(Arthur heads outside, gets on his bike and rides to the lumber yard)
(At the lumber yard we find Johnny, Tommy, Bobby Blue, Roach, and Ernie. Art arrives)
Roach:Well isn't it daddy's boy
Art:Look I had no other choice, it was either that or lose my date tonight
Roach:Whose the chick?
Art:Janet Williard
Roach:I know her sister, Norma. Or at least I knew her really well
(The group crackles)
Art:Ha ha ha yeah
Roach:You got a picture
Art:Not really
Roach:Well we'll meet yous twos at the dance tonight, what time?
Art:Around 10:30 I suppose
Roach:Aight we'll meet you 'round back
Art:Ok, look I need to talk to you about something
Roach:Listening
Art:Well my sister has been telling me a few things about....
Roach:About what? Those lies she says. Let me tell you something, Art, your sister isn't the sweet innocent girl she claims to be, back in school she was the biggest whore in the tri-state area, take it from a guy who knew her. The stuff about David and my ex are lies. David wrecked the car on his own and my ex-girlfriend was a lunatic so before she goes out and says those things about me she should get her facts straight. Trust me Art, listen to me you'll get far. Listen to her and you'll get nothin
Art:I guess your right
Roach:Art, I'm always right and you'll learn this as time goes on whatever Roach says goes
(Cut to Arthur's house where we find him downstairs)
Major:First date, son are you nervous?
Arthur:No dad I'm just the same as usual
Jessie:Oh Arthur, this is great, I got the camera ready and everything for you and Janet's first date
Major:Lets hear it for the potential of a long, beautiful relationship
Major, Jessie, and Lillian(raising glasses):Hooray!
(While this is transpiring Arthur keeps a concerned look on his face)
(We later find Jessie, Lillian, Art, and Major in the car heading to Janet's house, they arrive)
Major:Well what are you waiting for, go get the lucky lady
(Arthur gets out and walks up the stairs at her house. He knocks at the door and Norma answers)
Norma:Oh hey Art, she'll be down in a sec, come on in. Where's your sis at?
Arthur:She's in the car
(Arthur sits down as Norma walks outside. He looks around the house and daydreams a bit. Janet comes downstairs he looks up and gazes at her in amazement)
Janet:What do you think?
Arthur:I really don't know what to say
Janet(giggling):Well say something
Arthur:Something
Janet:Oh Art your silly
(Norma and Lillian walks in)
Lillian:Oh Janet you look fantastic
Janet:Thanks, Norma did my hair
Arthur:We better hurry up so we can get in before the line
Janet:Good idea, I'll see you later tonight, sis
Norma:Have fun you two
(Janet and Arthur get in the car, 20 minutes later they arrive at the dance)
(We fade into the dance where we find Arthur and Janet walking in)
Arthur:Well lets get this going
(They go in the center of the room and begin to dance)
NOTE:Due to the fact I do not feel like writing a dance sequence I'm going to go ahead and have you assume what happen then just continue writing because I am severely lazy when it comes to writing dance sequences
(TWO AND HALF HOURS LATER)
Janet:Arthur, I am having the best time of my life. I think its time we should go
Arthur:Alright
(They head outside and walk to the Park there they sit underneath a tree and look at the stars)
Arthur:Its like they're shining down on us
Janet:Yeah
Arthur:The future is getting bright Janet, we're just two shooting stars coming together
Janet:Arthur, I...
Arthur:I know what you want to say but let me say...
(Before he can finish Roach, Bobby Blue, Ernie, Johnny, and Tommy show up)
Roach:Well isn't it Art, where were ya buddy I said around back and you weren't there
Art:My bad, I just had to take care of business with this dame
(Janet gives Art a disgusted look)Roach:Well bring her along too we can all have some fun
Janet:I think you all can just carry on me and Arthur are enjoying the night
Art:Don't be silly Janet, we can have plenty of fun with Roach. What do you got in mind?
Roach:Nice to see it our way, Ernie you tell em the place
Ernie:Emery's Drug Store, old man Emery is loaded with cash in that register should be just enough to buy us a trip to Coney Island in the summer
Roach:And for some other things, come on lets go
Janet:Arthur, I really don't want to do this
Art:Look baby, I did my part for you and you should your part for me
(Janet just about defeated follows Art)
(Roach gets on his chopper while Thunder and Lightning take their car, while Janet, Arthur, and Ernie ride with Bobby Blue)
Janet(to Ernie):What are you thinking
Ernie:Look, its money Janet, somethin you don't know a thing about. We're doing this for a good cause. While old man Emery gets to blow his money on whatever we're sittin here dyin
Janet:The guy works hard, you shouldn't do this
Ernie:Look just sit back and relax alright and maybe you'll get a cookie or somethin for good behavior.
Bobby Blue:Just like her sister knows nothin but anything
(They arrive at Emery's Drug Store)
Roach:Alright fellas, Bobby you prank call the police and send them off away from here and I mean FAR away. Ernie you keep an eye out. Johnny, Tommy yous two take out anyone that gets near, Art, heres' your chance buddy. Take the crowbar and smash the window.
Art:I don't know, Roach how bout you do it you have more experience
Roach:Whaddya sayin?
Art:Nothing you have experience in breaking into stores like these
Roach:What are you some kind of chicken?
Arthur:No its just I don't want to do this anymore
Roach:Do it, Art unless your still the coward nerd who reads books on the weekends
Janet:Don't do it Arthur
Roach:Shut up, he listens to me
(He slaps Janet)
Arthur:Come on thats not called for!
Roach:You listen here, Art, when it comes to me and you your nothin and I'm something I can make you or I can break you so make your pick. You want me to hit her again? Break the window or your girlfriend will get a new face and it won't be pretty
(Arthur takes the crowbar and smashes it)
Roach:Haha thats my man, Quick Johnny, Tommy take the register
(Johnny and Tommy grab the register and take it)
Arthur:Alright I did what I had to do now leave her alone
Roach:Alright
(Roach shoves Janet from behind into the ground)
Arthur:Janet!
(He goes to the ground and holds her from behind Roach punches him in the side of the head. He falls over and tries to get up only to be triple teamed by Bobby Blue, Johnny, and Tommy. Throughout the sequence Janet pleads for them to stop but they keep hitting him. Roach gives him a final shot to the face and he falls to the ground. Arthur tries to get back up)
Everybody(to Ernie):Come on Ernie do it! do it!
Janet:Ernie please don't!
(Ernie looks at Bobby Blue, Tommy, Johnny, and Roach then at Janet then at Arthur. He hesitates for a second)
Ernie:Sorry buddy please forgive me
(As he says forgive me he nails Arthur with a kick to the head)
Roach:Come on fellas lets get out of here and if you two ever tell on us, I'll give you a beating worse than others I've given before
(Roach, Johnny, Tommy, Bobby Blue, and Ernie walk away as they walk away Ernie stops, looks back, turns around and continues walking)
Janet:Arthur, are you ok
Arthur(heavy breaths):Yeah lets just get out of here
(She helps him up and they walk down the sidewalk. They are able to find a taxi. They get into it and ride to Janet's house)
Arthur:I'm sorry about what happened earlier
Janet:Its alright I'm just glad we're safe.
Arthur:Janet..
Janet:Yes?
Arthur:I wanna be with you for the rest of my life. Our friendship has been the best part of my life so far and I think we should get together. So how about it?
Janet:Yes, I want to be with
(They engage looks at each other before finally kissing)
End Scene 10
Blue Denim Scenes 7-8
Scene 7
(We find Arthur sitting in his room)
Arthur: So they find me boring, nerdy, and unattractive. Well I’m about to prove them wrong. They’re about to see a new me.
(The next day we find Janet and Ernie sitting at the lunch table)
Janet: Where is Arthur?
Ernie: Dunno, probably cryin his eyes out
Janet: Why, what happened?
Ernie:He just goes overboard sometimes, he needs to learn to stay cool and chill.
Janet:What did you say to him?
Ernie:I told him the truth, the kid needs to hear it, I’m tired of my best friend being a square.
Janet:Jeez, Ernie can’t you just leave him alone? He’s your best friend
Ernie:I know, but he’s crampin my style, ya know?
Janet:You don’t do that to your best friend though
Ernie:Hey, when it comes to me and him its just me and no him
(Suddenly two doors open and out comes another student in blue denim jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket with sunglasses and dark hair. He walks over as everyone glances. He walks over and grabs Ernie’s milk from the tray?)
The Student:What kind of tough guy greaser drinks milk?
(Ernie gets up).. -->[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->.. -->[endif]-->
Ernie:Whats that supposedta mean?
The Student:I think you better back down before I knock you down, Ern
Ernie:How do you know my name?
The Student:Its been a long time, but I don’t forget anything
(He takes off his sunglasses revealing Arthur)
Ernie:Damn now this is what I’m talkin about
Janet:Arthur, is that you?
Arthur:It ain’t Arthur no more baby, call me Art
Janet:Gee, Arthur, I mean Art, what happened
Art:Took Ern’s advice and this is what happened. No more book reading nerd, just one tough son of a…
(Principal Maggardy interrupts)
Maggardy:Listen here young man, you say one more word and I’ll have you straight in detention
Art:Yeah if you could catch me first Maggardy
Maggardy:That is Principal Maggardy to you, young man
Art:Yadda Yadda Yadda whatevah, just get out of here, your makin yourself look dumb
Maggardy:Young man, if I hear one more word, I wil…
Art:Eat my lunch? Wouldn’t surprise me none
(The whole cafeteria bursts out laughing)
Maggardy:That is it young man, off to my office.
(We go to Maggardy’s office)
Maggardy:What is your name, young man?
Art:Lenny Bruce
Maggardy:Don’t befuddle me
Art:Fine, Bartley, Art Bartley
Maggardy:Well this is a surprise, Bartley you are usually one of the more honorable and well-behaved students
Art:That was the past, Mag
Maggardy:Well I’m only going to give you a warning, but if this continues, I will make sure you never live to see your 20’s. Society does not need menaces running about but more geniuses like you, Bartley.
Art:Yeah, the world does need more people like me
(He smirks and walks out of the office)
End Scene 7
Scene 8
(We find Art walking outside after school with Ernie and Janet)
Ernie:So you got nothin
Art:Absolutely nothin, nada, ni ni
Ernie:That’s what I’m talkin bout
Art:Yeah Maggardy ran scared
Ernie:Haha I love ya Art
Janet:So you guys want to go to the Ice Bowl?
Ernie:Nah I gots to introduce Art to some of the boys down to the Lumber Yard
Janet:Oh, ok
Art:Eh, baby I’ll give you a call tonight.. -->[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->.. -->[endif]-->
Janet(stummering):Alright…talk to you tonight
(Janet leaves and Art and Ernie begin to make their way to the Lumber Yard. Soon they arrive there)
(Soon they get there)
Art:So this is it
Ernie:Yup, me, Bobby Blue, and the others come here everyday
(They walk over to find Bobby Blue)
Bobby Blue:Yo, whats up, Ernie. Who’s this fella?
Ernie:You know Arthur Bartley from school?.. -->[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->.. -->[endif]-->
Bobby Blue:You got to be kiddin’ me
Ernie:I kid you not
Bobby Blue:Dang wait til Roach hears bout this
(They walk over with Bobby Blue down a hill where they encounter Tommy Thunder, and Johnny Lightning)
Ernie:Art, I’d like to introduce to you, Thunder and Lightning
Tommy and Johnny:Eh
Ernie:They’re in a rock band called Thunder and Lightning, clever, eh?
Art:Yeah I guess
Tommy:You guess whats that supposed to mean?
Art:Its kind of contrieved ya know?
Tommy:No I don’t. Maybe you need an initiation. Can you play the guitar?
Art:No
Johnny:Can you sing?
Art:Not really
Tommy:How bout play the drums?
Art:Haven’t really tried an instrument
Johnny:If that’s the case, then why don’t you settle for the other initiation?
Art:Whats that?
Tommy:Motor cycle race, you versus Roach
(Suddenly out of nowhere seemingly, Roach, a young man with Elvis like-brown hair appears wearing a white beater and black jeans)
Roach:Somebody say my name?
Tommy:Yeah we did, boss
Roach:What yous guys want?
Johnny:This fella right here wants to join?
Roach:Who is he?
Bobby Blue:Art Bartley
Roach:Art Bartley? Hell, you gotta be kiddin me? You drag me out here for THIS?!?!? I’ll make short work of this guy.(To Arthur)Ever rode a bike, kid?
Art:To be honest, no?
Roach:Well prepare for a thrill ride. Me and you over the ramp, around the docks and whoever gets back here first wins.
Art:Oh, um, ok
(They line up)Ernie:Ready…Set…Go!
(They both take off, Roach has an early lead on Art, but Art manages to remain close, as they hit a turn, Art takes the lead, but Roach manages to stay close. They continue racing neck and neck)
Roach:Give it up, nerd, you can’t beat the best!
(They continue racing, but Art wrecks on a turn and Roach takes the lead, as Roach is about to come around to the next-to-last turn, Art gets back on the bike and flies out like a bat out of hell. As Roach comes around for the final turn, Art rides over the hill and lands in front of Roach crossing the finish line and winning the race.)
Johnny:Oh my god, the nerd did it!
Ernie:Jeez Art, that was a helluva race
Art:Helluva? That was the best damn race period!
(Roach looking on angrily walks over and grabs Art by the shirt collar)
Roach:Look here kid….you did great. Congrads your one of us now
Everybody except Art:One of us! One of us! One of us!
(We find Arthur sitting in his room)
Arthur: So they find me boring, nerdy, and unattractive. Well I’m about to prove them wrong. They’re about to see a new me.
(The next day we find Janet and Ernie sitting at the lunch table)
Janet: Where is Arthur?
Ernie: Dunno, probably cryin his eyes out
Janet: Why, what happened?
Ernie:He just goes overboard sometimes, he needs to learn to stay cool and chill.
Janet:What did you say to him?
Ernie:I told him the truth, the kid needs to hear it, I’m tired of my best friend being a square.
Janet:Jeez, Ernie can’t you just leave him alone? He’s your best friend
Ernie:I know, but he’s crampin my style, ya know?
Janet:You don’t do that to your best friend though
Ernie:Hey, when it comes to me and him its just me and no him
(Suddenly two doors open and out comes another student in blue denim jeans, a white t-shirt, and a leather jacket with sunglasses and dark hair. He walks over as everyone glances. He walks over and grabs Ernie’s milk from the tray?)
The Student:What kind of tough guy greaser drinks milk?
(Ernie gets up).. -->[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->.. -->[endif]-->
Ernie:Whats that supposedta mean?
The Student:I think you better back down before I knock you down, Ern
Ernie:How do you know my name?
The Student:Its been a long time, but I don’t forget anything
(He takes off his sunglasses revealing Arthur)
Ernie:Damn now this is what I’m talkin about
Janet:Arthur, is that you?
Arthur:It ain’t Arthur no more baby, call me Art
Janet:Gee, Arthur, I mean Art, what happened
Art:Took Ern’s advice and this is what happened. No more book reading nerd, just one tough son of a…
(Principal Maggardy interrupts)
Maggardy:Listen here young man, you say one more word and I’ll have you straight in detention
Art:Yeah if you could catch me first Maggardy
Maggardy:That is Principal Maggardy to you, young man
Art:Yadda Yadda Yadda whatevah, just get out of here, your makin yourself look dumb
Maggardy:Young man, if I hear one more word, I wil…
Art:Eat my lunch? Wouldn’t surprise me none
(The whole cafeteria bursts out laughing)
Maggardy:That is it young man, off to my office.
(We go to Maggardy’s office)
Maggardy:What is your name, young man?
Art:Lenny Bruce
Maggardy:Don’t befuddle me
Art:Fine, Bartley, Art Bartley
Maggardy:Well this is a surprise, Bartley you are usually one of the more honorable and well-behaved students
Art:That was the past, Mag
Maggardy:Well I’m only going to give you a warning, but if this continues, I will make sure you never live to see your 20’s. Society does not need menaces running about but more geniuses like you, Bartley.
Art:Yeah, the world does need more people like me
(He smirks and walks out of the office)
End Scene 7
Scene 8
(We find Art walking outside after school with Ernie and Janet)
Ernie:So you got nothin
Art:Absolutely nothin, nada, ni ni
Ernie:That’s what I’m talkin bout
Art:Yeah Maggardy ran scared
Ernie:Haha I love ya Art
Janet:So you guys want to go to the Ice Bowl?
Ernie:Nah I gots to introduce Art to some of the boys down to the Lumber Yard
Janet:Oh, ok
Art:Eh, baby I’ll give you a call tonight.. -->[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->.. -->[endif]-->
Janet(stummering):Alright…talk to you tonight
(Janet leaves and Art and Ernie begin to make their way to the Lumber Yard. Soon they arrive there)
(Soon they get there)
Art:So this is it
Ernie:Yup, me, Bobby Blue, and the others come here everyday
(They walk over to find Bobby Blue)
Bobby Blue:Yo, whats up, Ernie. Who’s this fella?
Ernie:You know Arthur Bartley from school?.. -->[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]-->.. -->[endif]-->
Bobby Blue:You got to be kiddin’ me
Ernie:I kid you not
Bobby Blue:Dang wait til Roach hears bout this
(They walk over with Bobby Blue down a hill where they encounter Tommy Thunder, and Johnny Lightning)
Ernie:Art, I’d like to introduce to you, Thunder and Lightning
Tommy and Johnny:Eh
Ernie:They’re in a rock band called Thunder and Lightning, clever, eh?
Art:Yeah I guess
Tommy:You guess whats that supposed to mean?
Art:Its kind of contrieved ya know?
Tommy:No I don’t. Maybe you need an initiation. Can you play the guitar?
Art:No
Johnny:Can you sing?
Art:Not really
Tommy:How bout play the drums?
Art:Haven’t really tried an instrument
Johnny:If that’s the case, then why don’t you settle for the other initiation?
Art:Whats that?
Tommy:Motor cycle race, you versus Roach
(Suddenly out of nowhere seemingly, Roach, a young man with Elvis like-brown hair appears wearing a white beater and black jeans)
Roach:Somebody say my name?
Tommy:Yeah we did, boss
Roach:What yous guys want?
Johnny:This fella right here wants to join?
Roach:Who is he?
Bobby Blue:Art Bartley
Roach:Art Bartley? Hell, you gotta be kiddin me? You drag me out here for THIS?!?!? I’ll make short work of this guy.(To Arthur)Ever rode a bike, kid?
Art:To be honest, no?
Roach:Well prepare for a thrill ride. Me and you over the ramp, around the docks and whoever gets back here first wins.
Art:Oh, um, ok
(They line up)Ernie:Ready…Set…Go!
(They both take off, Roach has an early lead on Art, but Art manages to remain close, as they hit a turn, Art takes the lead, but Roach manages to stay close. They continue racing neck and neck)
Roach:Give it up, nerd, you can’t beat the best!
(They continue racing, but Art wrecks on a turn and Roach takes the lead, as Roach is about to come around to the next-to-last turn, Art gets back on the bike and flies out like a bat out of hell. As Roach comes around for the final turn, Art rides over the hill and lands in front of Roach crossing the finish line and winning the race.)
Johnny:Oh my god, the nerd did it!
Ernie:Jeez Art, that was a helluva race
Art:Helluva? That was the best damn race period!
(Roach looking on angrily walks over and grabs Art by the shirt collar)
Roach:Look here kid….you did great. Congrads your one of us now
Everybody except Art:One of us! One of us! One of us!
Blue Denim Scenes 1-6
Recently I took the liberty in rewriting the hit 1958 play Blue Denim. This is Scenes 1-6
Scene 1:Arthur:I just don’t get it dadMajor:Son its for your own goodArthur:Dad, I’m 15 years old I can handle things like these, I’m a practical adult, its not like I’m fiveMajor:I’m just concerned Arthur about your emotionsArthur:Why’d you kill him?Major:He had to go Arthur and your mother and I felt that if we do it while your away it wouldn’t affect you as muchArthur:You just don’t get it dad do ya?Major:Arthur, I understand fine now just go upstairs and do your homework, I’d like for you to keep your grades and morale high(Arthur goes up stairs and sits at his desk and does his homework, his sister walks in)Lillian:You shouldn’t feel bad, Art, they’re just doing whats best for youArthur:The put him to sleep sis, I’ve had that dog for 12 years thats close to my whole life.*sigh* They just don’t seem to get itLillian:Arthur, I wish you’d see it from there prospective, they just want to protect youArthur:I can accept that Hector is gone but I can’t accept what they didLillian:Well you can’t be mad at mom and dad forever, just give it time, maybe you’ll feel better in the morningArthur:Yeah, it couldn’t get no worse sis(Lillian leaves the room)(End Scene 1)Scene 2(We see Ernie and Arthur walking in the street)Ernie:And they didn’t tell youArthur:Not til about 7Ernie:Jesus Art, are your parents stupid or somethin?Arthur:No its just they don’t understand meErnie:Well who does, Art, I mean look at ya. You’re 15 years old, you’ve never had a girlfriend, you sit at home on the weekends and read. Your a square Art, a square.
Arthur:Well its just I’d like to live a calm casual life.
Ernie:That’s your whole problem Art, your not willing to take risks, you’re afraid to one day you’ll be up for President of the United States and they’ll find something on your record that’ll snub the campaign.
Arthur:Ernie, I’m not afraid of anything. I think I’m sociable I’m capable of anything
Ernie:Why don’t me and you hit up two babes on Saturday night you can take Julie or something like that and I can get your sister.
Arthur:Julie Oglebee? Ah I don’t know Ernie, Julie just doesn’t seem like my type and heaven knows Lillian doesn’t like you that much
Ernie:You kiddin me Art, your sister was lookin me up all over the room this morning. She’s got the hots for me ya know?
Arthur:Ah come on Ernie, Lillian is a good girl she’s not like Julie
Ernie:Eh, I can make any girl bad. ’member Angie. Before I met her, Church Girl, the rev’s daughter. After I met her, a little devil.
Arthur(brief laugh):Ah Ernie I don’t know what I’m goin to do with you
Ernie:I know what you can do
(He pulls out a pack of cigarettes)
Ernie:Take one and smoke and we can make school by Gym.
Arthur:Oh come on Ernie, put them away
Ernie:Jeez Art just take one, whats the worst that can happen? Maggardy sees us? That fat hog couldn’t spot us from 20 feet by his waist line.
Arthur:This is a bad idea Ernie. Lets just get to class.
Ernie:Fine but you gotta do it sometime Art, no ones perfect.
(The bell rings)
End Scene 2
Scene 3
(We enter in the lunch room where Arthur is talking with Janet and Ernie)
Janet:So they didn’t tell you?
Arthur:Yup went behind my back yet again
Janet:Don’t feel bad Art, Norma always tells me to let things slide and make peace with everyone else
Arthur:I guess she’s right I mean they’re my parents I wouldn’t want to hurt them
Ernie:Janet, you goin to the dance this weekend?
Janet:Why would I not?
Ernie:Beautiful, Art, here’s your date
Arthur:Wh-what?
(He blushes and walks away, Ernie follows)
Ernie:Where you goin? Hey!
(They walk into the bathroom)
Arthur:Ah jeez Ernie what are you doing?
Ernie:Settin you up Art, come on its time you step out of your shell and do something with your life. The first step is here, you take Janet, you dance and go for the home run
Arthur:She’s not that kind of girl, Ernie. Besides I’ve known her all my life and my parents know her parents. I mean heck Lillian and Norma graduated together
Ernie:o what its perfect two families united through love between one’s son and the other’s daughter
Arthur:I don’t know about this, Ern
Ernie:Trust me Art, if you don’t ask her now you’ll never besides how long to some other fella comes along and takes her
Arthur:*sigh* I guess I can do it
Ernie:That’s what I like to here
(Ernie and Arthur walk back to the table)
Janet(laughing a little):What was that about?
Ernie:Nature came callin, he almost peed himself
Arthur:That is not true
Janet:Oh Ernie cut it out
Arthur::So what time do you want to meet?
Janet:5pm
Athur:My place?
Janet:It’s a date
Arthur:Alright then
End Scene 3
Scene 4
(We find Janet walking with Arthur after school)
Janet:Can you believe Ernie?
Arthur:Not really, he’s always getting himself into trouble
Janet:Do you think they’re going to allow him to go to the dance?
Arthur:Probably not but he’ll find a way in, he always does.
Janet:Yeah--why did you walk away earlier when Ernie told me to go with you to the dance?
Arthur:Um well...I didn’t really expect him to do it there and then. Really I wanted to ask you myself but I was kinda waiting for the right time
Janet:I understand you gotta be more self confident Arthur.
Arthur:Its not that its just I wanted a good timing like...now or maybe over the phone
Janet:Over the phone? Who asks someone out over the phone. Arthur I’ve known you for 13 years; I know why you walked away. You didn’t want to ask me because you weren’t going.
Arthur:Oh come on Janet thats not true
Janet:Arthur I can read you like a book its obvious. Its alright though if your not willing to go. I can find another date
Arthur:No, I’m going I’m going. Heh, why would I not go. I mean come on, my first and probably only chance to take a fine girl like you on a date.
Scene 4
(We find Janet walking with Arthur after school)
Janet:Can you believe Ernie?
Arthur:Not really, he’s always getting himself into trouble
Janet:Do you think they’re going to allow him to go to the dance?
Arthur:Probably not but he’ll find a way in, he always does.
Janet:Yeah--why did you walk away earlier when Ernie told me to go with you to the dance?
Arthur:Um well...I didn’t really expect him to do it there and then. Really I wanted to ask you myself but I was kinda waiting for the right time
Janet:I understand you gotta be more self confident Arthur.
Arthur:Its not that its just I wanted a good timing like...now or maybe over the phone
Janet:Over the phone? Who asks someone out over the phone. Arthur I’ve known you for 13 years; I know why you walked away. You didn’t want to ask me because you weren’t going.
Arthur:Oh come on Janet thats not true
Janet:Arthur I can read you like a book its obvious. Its alright though if your not willing to go. I can find another date
Arthur:No, I’m going I’m going. Heh, why would I not go. I mean come on, my first and probably only chance to take a fine girl like you on a date.
Janet:I appreciate the comment Arthur but somehow I doubt your sincerity
Arthur:Whaddya mean?
Janet:I know you better than yourself, Art
Arthur:Look I want to go with ya
Janet:Of course you do
Arthur:I’m being serious Janet!
Janet(laughing):I know you are Arthur, chill out I’m kidding. Of course I’ll go to the dance with you
Arthur:Alright then…(mummering)but theres a bit of a problem
Janet:Whats that?
Arthur:I can’t dance
Janet:Is that all? I can teach you to dance Arthur
Arthur:You can?
Janet:Yeah just come over tonight
Arthur:Alright, well here’s my stop. I’ll see what time?
Janet:7pm, if your parents allow you out
Arthur:I’m sure they will
(He walks into the house and she continues walking looking back as he enters his home)
(We go inside Arthur’s home)
Major:Bout time you got here son
Arthur:Glad to be home, dad
Jessie:Art, your dinners getting cold. Sit down here and talk with me and your father
(He sits down)
Major:So sport how was school today
Arthur:It was fine I suppose
Major:That’s good to here, you hangin around with that Lacey boy?
Arthur:Yes dad
Major:Son how many times do I got to tell you, that boy is a menace. One day he’s going to be sitting in Alcatraz rotting with other punks
Arthur:He’s not a bad person dad, he’s just misunderstood
Major:He gets in trouble every day, a guy like that is just screaming Bad Company
Jessie:Oh Major, you were young once to
Major:But I never got in trouble the way this boy does
Jessie:If I remember correctly, you were always fighting Johnny Doyle
Major:That’s because he made a move for ya I had to do something
Jessie:Still, you got in trouble yourself plenty of times
Major:Yes but Art shouldn’t repeat my actions. Fighting isn’t worth it, Art, a clean life is the way to go. Hell 5 years from now you’ll be in a big school like Yale or even Harvard and Ernie will be rotting away in a jail cell far away.
Arthur:I wish you wouldn’t think that way dad, Ernie has a bright future ahead of him like me.
Major:Yeah when they install lights in the prison
(Lillian walks down stairs)
Lillian:Yeah and he should also stop asking me out
Major:That boy giving you trouble, Lil?
Lillian:He’s got a practical crush on me he’s always calling and courting me
Major:I should pick up that phone and give him a piece of my mind
Lillian:Nah, besides I think its kind of cute
Major:Lillian there isn’t nothing cute about Ernie Lacey he’s just a punk.
Lillian:I just tend to believe theres good in everyone…and what kind of dress is Janet wearing Saturday, Art?
(Arthur nearly chokes on a chicken wing)
Arthur:Um well she hasn’t really told me yet
Major:Janet? Dress? You taken her out on a date, Art?
Arthur:Well yeah, we’re supposed to(mumbling)go to the dance Saturday
Jessie:Oh how wonderful Art
Lillian:Yeah, Ernie told me Art
Arthur(sarcastically):Good ole Ernie
Jessie:I think its great, you two have been best friends for a long time, its time for you two to finally start dating.
Arthur:We’re not really dating per se its just a date
Lillian:So you’re dating?
Arthur:No we’re just going out on a fine dance thing
Lillian:So you’re dating?
Arthur:Look its not that at all I mean heck, we might not go to another dance again after this
Jessie:You should give her a chance, Arthur, she is a such a nice girl
Arthur:Look I don’t want to rush things. I mean dating can hurt a friendship sometimes
Major:Arthur, if you need some advice ask me, I was the king of queens back in High School
Arthur:Dad, I don’t need any help its just a dance
Lillian:You sure about that?
Arthur:I am a 100 percent sure. Now if you excuse me I got to have a little talk with Ernie
(He goes up stairs)
(We go to Janet’s house hours later)
Janet:It’s about time you got here, Art
Arthur:Wheres your folks at?
Janet:Oh they went out to the movies
Arthur:Ah, wheres Norma?
Janet:She’s got work tonight so we got the whole house to ourselves.
Arthur:That’s swell
Janet(giggle):I know, right?
(They go into her basement)
Janet:We might want to make this fast, my parents don’t like when I have boys over they might think something of it.
Arthur:Well they know me its not like they’re going to freak out or anything
Janet:Oh you’d be surprised…now lets get this started. Do you know how to do the Madison?
Arthur:Not really
Janet:Well you do this. Step left forward, Place right beside left and clap, Step back on right, Move left foot back and across the right, Move left foot to the left, Move left foot back and across the right. Now you do it
(He does but fails)
Janet:Try it again
(He tries again but this time moves the wrong way and knocks over Janet but catches her before she falls to the ground)
Arthur:Oh look I’m very sorry
Janet:Its ok, the Madison just isn’t your dance. Trust me I have problems with dances too. Why don’t we try to slow dance.
Arthur:Ok I guess I can try that
(They slow dance and he steps on her toes)
Janet:Ow
Arthur:Sorry
(He continues doing so by accident. He soon lets go and decides to leave but on his way out, Janet stops him)
Janet:Wait. where are you going?
Arthur:Forget it, I’m no good at that stuff
Janet:Oh come on, Art, its your first night you got plenty of time to get ready for it
Arthur:Its hopeless, your better off taking Ernie to the dance.
Janet:Just try, Art, try
Arthur:I’m doing the best I can. Face it I’ll never be as good as him. He’s always out there going to dances, real ones, downtown
Janet:You shouldn’t so down on yourself, Art
Arthur:I can’t help it Janet, I just feel like I’m some kind of failure. Face it I’m going nowhere. In 38 years they’ll be giving out awards for the 20th Century and dub me as the biggest failure. Its like Ernie says I’m just some 15 year old square who reads books on the weekends. I’ll never be anything.
Janet:You won’t be with that attitude. You just need some confidence.
Arthur:*sigh* Theres that word again. Face it I’m nothing
Janet(putting her hand on his shoulder):Arthur, you’re not nothing. Your bound to be something. You’d think I’d be friends with you if I didn’t believe you can be something great?
Arthur:What do you mean?
Janet:I have faith in you Art, I have faith that maybe one day you’re going to come out of your little shell and be something. That’s why we’re really good friends
Arthur:I guess we are better friends then anyone else. I mean heck you’re the only one that understands me. You know me better than my own parents.
Janet:I feel something when I’m around you, Art
Arthur:What do you feel exactly?
Janet:I feel that you can be the ideal guy for me. I feel that I…love you
Arthur:You love me?
Janet:Yeah I love you
Arthur(sarcastic Woody Allen-esqe laugh):You’re kidding right?
Janet:I’m not
Arthur:I can tell you are, don’t lie to me
Janet:Arthur, I’ve never lied to you. You just don’t get it
(As she walks away he follows her and stops her)
Arthur:Wait, I understand how you feel when did you hit you
Janet:I’ve always had something for you Art, I just didn’t want to admit it was love because I feel it could hurt our great friendship. Then theres people who’ll laugh and point at us when we walk by. Norma tells me never to let anyone know how you feel about certain guys.
Arthur:Norma isn’t always right
Janet:I guess I should’ve never told you because now I just feel awkward
Arthur:Don’t, I understand what you mean. I mean I feel the same way but not in love with you type of manner just as friends
Janet:Well can you give it some thought?
Arthur:I will
Janet:Thank you because you really mean a lot to me
(They embrace each other in an "awkward" feeling)
End Scene 4
Scene 5
(We find Arthur with Ernie and Lillian in the kitchen the next day)
Arthur:They allowing you to go?
Ernie:Pfft…no but I’m going anyways
Arthur:How are you getting in?
Ernie:Easy, my cousin is the ticket vender and besides Maggardy doesn’t go to these things and if he does he’ll be at the buffet anyways
Arthur:Clever Ern, clever
Ernie(looking at Lillian):You goin to the dance sweetcheeks?
Lillian:I’m 19, your 16, do the math
Ernie:Age is just a number baby. My uncle is 42 and my aunt is 24.
Arthur:I thought your aunt was 41?
Ernie:That was my old aunt….this is my new one and she was a actress. Uncle Bill hit a home run with this dame
Arthur:You got a weird family Ernie
Ernie:Tell me about it, my mom was a factory worker and my dad was a maid. Except he called it a Stewart. My brother can bench press over 250 yet he’s a writer. Bunch of whack jobs if you ask me.
Lillian:So how did it go, yesterday, Arthur?
Arthur:Oh, it was ok I guess.
Ernie:Where’d he go yesterday?
Lillian:Over to Janet’s
Ernie:Ooo Artie’s already rounding 3rd
Arthur:Come on Ernie, I told you Janet is not that type of girl and besides we’re just friends. We’re not dating, we’re just going out to a dance
Ernie:So you’re dating?
Arthur:No, we are not dating we’re just going out on a date
Ernie:So…you’re…dating?
Arthur:You two are so much alike you should date
Lillian:No, simply put, no
Ernie:We do got a lot in common baby
Lillian:No we do not. We totally don’t
Ernie:You have dark hair, I have dark hair
Lillian:For the record, I am naturally a blonde. I dyed my hair
Ernie:Pfft…so was I
Lillian(slight laugh):No you weren’t
Ernie:Yes I was, there is no way in proving me wrong.
Lillian:Don’t lie to me like that
Ernie:Why you afraid it might affect our relationship?
Lillian:There is no relationship, Ernie just me and you
Ernie:We can take nothing and make it something
Lillian:Let me think…no
Ernie:What are you scared of, baby?
Lillian(arms crossed):Nothing
(He leans into to her with his arms wrapping around her)
Ernie:Chill baby, take it slowly…slowly
Arthur:Can you do this somewhere else, I’m trying to eat my cereal here
Lillian:Get off of me
(She pushes him off)
Ernie:Chill baby, tame the wild beast
(He puts his hand on his shoulder and it starts to go down her back before it can get any lower, she pushes him again leans up on the counter and grabs a butter knife)
Lillian:Ernie Lacey, I swear any close to me or any part of me. I will stab you in the little heart of yours
(He swipes the knife from her and puts it on the table. She runs away and he chases after her. They run through the kitchen, into the living room, and upstairs as she gets up the steps he slaps her in the buttocks(yes I actually wrote that) and he jumps back down stairs)
Lillian(after he smacks her):Ahh! Ernie!
Ernie:Lets get out of here
(He runs outside and Arthur follows behind we see Lillian sitting on the steps with her arms folded giving the prissy school girl look)
End Scene 5
Scene 6
(We find Ernie and Arthur sitting at the lunch table)
Ernie:I swear if we get homework again I will kiss Haggardy
Arthur:What is up with you today?
Ernie:What do ya mean?
Arthur:You’re acting a little out there today or something
Ernie:I think it might be that stuff my cousin gave me
Arthur:What was it?
Ernie:Its like some kind of drug
Arthur:Are we talking medicine or something?
Ernie:No he said it was called speed or something
Arthur:Speed? Gosh Ernie, first cigarettes now this? How am I ever going to get my father to respect you if you’re on drugs and stuff.
Ernie:I haven’t taken that much. My cousin does it all the type for track and stuff it makes you more hyperactive. I love it you should try it.
Arthur:Ernie I’m not going to do drugs, this is insane. I’m starting to think you’ve lost your mind
Ernie:I’ve lost a lot in my life but my mind is not one of them…so what happened yesterday?
Arthur:What do you mean?
Ernie:At Janet’s
Arthur:Nothing, I just came and we just talked?
Ernie:That’s it? Jeez Art make a move or something
Arthur:She’s no…
Ernie:She’s not that kind of girl. Whopee doo, Art. It’s the same thing with you. You got no confidence and you don’t think she’s that kind of girl. She was pregnant once.
Arthur:Ernie don’t lie to me like that. Janet’s a nice clean girl she has never been pregnant.
Ernie:How would you know that?
Arthur:Oh come on, Ern you sound like some crazy lunatic. I’ve known Janet for 15 years. She has never been pregnant.
Ernie:Like I said, there is no way in knowing that.
Arthur:There is plenty of ways.
Ernie:Such as?
Arthur:I’ve never heard this story
Ernie:I’ll tell you why, it was a cover up.
Arthur:Now you’re being redicolous
Ernie:You see Arthur, back in the 8th grade, Janet went to Summer Camp and she was abducted by aliens, and one of the aliens impregnated her.
Arthur:Ernie, you need to seriously lay off the drugs and cigarettes…and Science Fiction movies.
Ernie:Haha, Art I’m just kidding. Your hostile you need to calm down
Arthur:I am perfectly calm
Ernie:Its only a joke
Arthur:Well I didn’t find it funny
Ernie:That’s because you have no sense of humour. You’d rather watch Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca then listen to Lenny Bruce.
Arthur:What do you see in that guy
Ernie:He’s spot on. He tells it like it is. Hollywood is just too fake. Bruce knows what he’s talking about.
Arthur:I just think he’s a hack
Ernie:Well who do you think is funny?
Arthur:Jack Benny
Ernie:Jack Benny? You mean the square on TV?
Arthur:He’s not a nerd, he just wears glasses for his vision
Ernie:You’d know Art
Arthur:Look you are really starting to tick me off
Ernie:Because I hate that my best friend is some kind of square. There’s a reason why I don’t bring you around Ace and the boys over at the Lumber Yard.
Arthur:Well gee, Ernie I guess the last 11 years don’t really mean a thing to you
(Arthur gets up and leaves)
Ernie:Eh come back here, Art, I’m only kidding!
End Scene 6
Scene 1:Arthur:I just don’t get it dadMajor:Son its for your own goodArthur:Dad, I’m 15 years old I can handle things like these, I’m a practical adult, its not like I’m fiveMajor:I’m just concerned Arthur about your emotionsArthur:Why’d you kill him?Major:He had to go Arthur and your mother and I felt that if we do it while your away it wouldn’t affect you as muchArthur:You just don’t get it dad do ya?Major:Arthur, I understand fine now just go upstairs and do your homework, I’d like for you to keep your grades and morale high(Arthur goes up stairs and sits at his desk and does his homework, his sister walks in)Lillian:You shouldn’t feel bad, Art, they’re just doing whats best for youArthur:The put him to sleep sis, I’ve had that dog for 12 years thats close to my whole life.*sigh* They just don’t seem to get itLillian:Arthur, I wish you’d see it from there prospective, they just want to protect youArthur:I can accept that Hector is gone but I can’t accept what they didLillian:Well you can’t be mad at mom and dad forever, just give it time, maybe you’ll feel better in the morningArthur:Yeah, it couldn’t get no worse sis(Lillian leaves the room)(End Scene 1)Scene 2(We see Ernie and Arthur walking in the street)Ernie:And they didn’t tell youArthur:Not til about 7Ernie:Jesus Art, are your parents stupid or somethin?Arthur:No its just they don’t understand meErnie:Well who does, Art, I mean look at ya. You’re 15 years old, you’ve never had a girlfriend, you sit at home on the weekends and read. Your a square Art, a square.
Arthur:Well its just I’d like to live a calm casual life.
Ernie:That’s your whole problem Art, your not willing to take risks, you’re afraid to one day you’ll be up for President of the United States and they’ll find something on your record that’ll snub the campaign.
Arthur:Ernie, I’m not afraid of anything. I think I’m sociable I’m capable of anything
Ernie:Why don’t me and you hit up two babes on Saturday night you can take Julie or something like that and I can get your sister.
Arthur:Julie Oglebee? Ah I don’t know Ernie, Julie just doesn’t seem like my type and heaven knows Lillian doesn’t like you that much
Ernie:You kiddin me Art, your sister was lookin me up all over the room this morning. She’s got the hots for me ya know?
Arthur:Ah come on Ernie, Lillian is a good girl she’s not like Julie
Ernie:Eh, I can make any girl bad. ’member Angie. Before I met her, Church Girl, the rev’s daughter. After I met her, a little devil.
Arthur(brief laugh):Ah Ernie I don’t know what I’m goin to do with you
Ernie:I know what you can do
(He pulls out a pack of cigarettes)
Ernie:Take one and smoke and we can make school by Gym.
Arthur:Oh come on Ernie, put them away
Ernie:Jeez Art just take one, whats the worst that can happen? Maggardy sees us? That fat hog couldn’t spot us from 20 feet by his waist line.
Arthur:This is a bad idea Ernie. Lets just get to class.
Ernie:Fine but you gotta do it sometime Art, no ones perfect.
(The bell rings)
End Scene 2
Scene 3
(We enter in the lunch room where Arthur is talking with Janet and Ernie)
Janet:So they didn’t tell you?
Arthur:Yup went behind my back yet again
Janet:Don’t feel bad Art, Norma always tells me to let things slide and make peace with everyone else
Arthur:I guess she’s right I mean they’re my parents I wouldn’t want to hurt them
Ernie:Janet, you goin to the dance this weekend?
Janet:Why would I not?
Ernie:Beautiful, Art, here’s your date
Arthur:Wh-what?
(He blushes and walks away, Ernie follows)
Ernie:Where you goin? Hey!
(They walk into the bathroom)
Arthur:Ah jeez Ernie what are you doing?
Ernie:Settin you up Art, come on its time you step out of your shell and do something with your life. The first step is here, you take Janet, you dance and go for the home run
Arthur:She’s not that kind of girl, Ernie. Besides I’ve known her all my life and my parents know her parents. I mean heck Lillian and Norma graduated together
Ernie:o what its perfect two families united through love between one’s son and the other’s daughter
Arthur:I don’t know about this, Ern
Ernie:Trust me Art, if you don’t ask her now you’ll never besides how long to some other fella comes along and takes her
Arthur:*sigh* I guess I can do it
Ernie:That’s what I like to here
(Ernie and Arthur walk back to the table)
Janet(laughing a little):What was that about?
Ernie:Nature came callin, he almost peed himself
Arthur:That is not true
Janet:Oh Ernie cut it out
Arthur::So what time do you want to meet?
Janet:5pm
Athur:My place?
Janet:It’s a date
Arthur:Alright then
End Scene 3
Scene 4
(We find Janet walking with Arthur after school)
Janet:Can you believe Ernie?
Arthur:Not really, he’s always getting himself into trouble
Janet:Do you think they’re going to allow him to go to the dance?
Arthur:Probably not but he’ll find a way in, he always does.
Janet:Yeah--why did you walk away earlier when Ernie told me to go with you to the dance?
Arthur:Um well...I didn’t really expect him to do it there and then. Really I wanted to ask you myself but I was kinda waiting for the right time
Janet:I understand you gotta be more self confident Arthur.
Arthur:Its not that its just I wanted a good timing like...now or maybe over the phone
Janet:Over the phone? Who asks someone out over the phone. Arthur I’ve known you for 13 years; I know why you walked away. You didn’t want to ask me because you weren’t going.
Arthur:Oh come on Janet thats not true
Janet:Arthur I can read you like a book its obvious. Its alright though if your not willing to go. I can find another date
Arthur:No, I’m going I’m going. Heh, why would I not go. I mean come on, my first and probably only chance to take a fine girl like you on a date.
Scene 4
(We find Janet walking with Arthur after school)
Janet:Can you believe Ernie?
Arthur:Not really, he’s always getting himself into trouble
Janet:Do you think they’re going to allow him to go to the dance?
Arthur:Probably not but he’ll find a way in, he always does.
Janet:Yeah--why did you walk away earlier when Ernie told me to go with you to the dance?
Arthur:Um well...I didn’t really expect him to do it there and then. Really I wanted to ask you myself but I was kinda waiting for the right time
Janet:I understand you gotta be more self confident Arthur.
Arthur:Its not that its just I wanted a good timing like...now or maybe over the phone
Janet:Over the phone? Who asks someone out over the phone. Arthur I’ve known you for 13 years; I know why you walked away. You didn’t want to ask me because you weren’t going.
Arthur:Oh come on Janet thats not true
Janet:Arthur I can read you like a book its obvious. Its alright though if your not willing to go. I can find another date
Arthur:No, I’m going I’m going. Heh, why would I not go. I mean come on, my first and probably only chance to take a fine girl like you on a date.
Janet:I appreciate the comment Arthur but somehow I doubt your sincerity
Arthur:Whaddya mean?
Janet:I know you better than yourself, Art
Arthur:Look I want to go with ya
Janet:Of course you do
Arthur:I’m being serious Janet!
Janet(laughing):I know you are Arthur, chill out I’m kidding. Of course I’ll go to the dance with you
Arthur:Alright then…(mummering)but theres a bit of a problem
Janet:Whats that?
Arthur:I can’t dance
Janet:Is that all? I can teach you to dance Arthur
Arthur:You can?
Janet:Yeah just come over tonight
Arthur:Alright, well here’s my stop. I’ll see what time?
Janet:7pm, if your parents allow you out
Arthur:I’m sure they will
(He walks into the house and she continues walking looking back as he enters his home)
(We go inside Arthur’s home)
Major:Bout time you got here son
Arthur:Glad to be home, dad
Jessie:Art, your dinners getting cold. Sit down here and talk with me and your father
(He sits down)
Major:So sport how was school today
Arthur:It was fine I suppose
Major:That’s good to here, you hangin around with that Lacey boy?
Arthur:Yes dad
Major:Son how many times do I got to tell you, that boy is a menace. One day he’s going to be sitting in Alcatraz rotting with other punks
Arthur:He’s not a bad person dad, he’s just misunderstood
Major:He gets in trouble every day, a guy like that is just screaming Bad Company
Jessie:Oh Major, you were young once to
Major:But I never got in trouble the way this boy does
Jessie:If I remember correctly, you were always fighting Johnny Doyle
Major:That’s because he made a move for ya I had to do something
Jessie:Still, you got in trouble yourself plenty of times
Major:Yes but Art shouldn’t repeat my actions. Fighting isn’t worth it, Art, a clean life is the way to go. Hell 5 years from now you’ll be in a big school like Yale or even Harvard and Ernie will be rotting away in a jail cell far away.
Arthur:I wish you wouldn’t think that way dad, Ernie has a bright future ahead of him like me.
Major:Yeah when they install lights in the prison
(Lillian walks down stairs)
Lillian:Yeah and he should also stop asking me out
Major:That boy giving you trouble, Lil?
Lillian:He’s got a practical crush on me he’s always calling and courting me
Major:I should pick up that phone and give him a piece of my mind
Lillian:Nah, besides I think its kind of cute
Major:Lillian there isn’t nothing cute about Ernie Lacey he’s just a punk.
Lillian:I just tend to believe theres good in everyone…and what kind of dress is Janet wearing Saturday, Art?
(Arthur nearly chokes on a chicken wing)
Arthur:Um well she hasn’t really told me yet
Major:Janet? Dress? You taken her out on a date, Art?
Arthur:Well yeah, we’re supposed to(mumbling)go to the dance Saturday
Jessie:Oh how wonderful Art
Lillian:Yeah, Ernie told me Art
Arthur(sarcastically):Good ole Ernie
Jessie:I think its great, you two have been best friends for a long time, its time for you two to finally start dating.
Arthur:We’re not really dating per se its just a date
Lillian:So you’re dating?
Arthur:No we’re just going out on a fine dance thing
Lillian:So you’re dating?
Arthur:Look its not that at all I mean heck, we might not go to another dance again after this
Jessie:You should give her a chance, Arthur, she is a such a nice girl
Arthur:Look I don’t want to rush things. I mean dating can hurt a friendship sometimes
Major:Arthur, if you need some advice ask me, I was the king of queens back in High School
Arthur:Dad, I don’t need any help its just a dance
Lillian:You sure about that?
Arthur:I am a 100 percent sure. Now if you excuse me I got to have a little talk with Ernie
(He goes up stairs)
(We go to Janet’s house hours later)
Janet:It’s about time you got here, Art
Arthur:Wheres your folks at?
Janet:Oh they went out to the movies
Arthur:Ah, wheres Norma?
Janet:She’s got work tonight so we got the whole house to ourselves.
Arthur:That’s swell
Janet(giggle):I know, right?
(They go into her basement)
Janet:We might want to make this fast, my parents don’t like when I have boys over they might think something of it.
Arthur:Well they know me its not like they’re going to freak out or anything
Janet:Oh you’d be surprised…now lets get this started. Do you know how to do the Madison?
Arthur:Not really
Janet:Well you do this. Step left forward, Place right beside left and clap, Step back on right, Move left foot back and across the right, Move left foot to the left, Move left foot back and across the right. Now you do it
(He does but fails)
Janet:Try it again
(He tries again but this time moves the wrong way and knocks over Janet but catches her before she falls to the ground)
Arthur:Oh look I’m very sorry
Janet:Its ok, the Madison just isn’t your dance. Trust me I have problems with dances too. Why don’t we try to slow dance.
Arthur:Ok I guess I can try that
(They slow dance and he steps on her toes)
Janet:Ow
Arthur:Sorry
(He continues doing so by accident. He soon lets go and decides to leave but on his way out, Janet stops him)
Janet:Wait. where are you going?
Arthur:Forget it, I’m no good at that stuff
Janet:Oh come on, Art, its your first night you got plenty of time to get ready for it
Arthur:Its hopeless, your better off taking Ernie to the dance.
Janet:Just try, Art, try
Arthur:I’m doing the best I can. Face it I’ll never be as good as him. He’s always out there going to dances, real ones, downtown
Janet:You shouldn’t so down on yourself, Art
Arthur:I can’t help it Janet, I just feel like I’m some kind of failure. Face it I’m going nowhere. In 38 years they’ll be giving out awards for the 20th Century and dub me as the biggest failure. Its like Ernie says I’m just some 15 year old square who reads books on the weekends. I’ll never be anything.
Janet:You won’t be with that attitude. You just need some confidence.
Arthur:*sigh* Theres that word again. Face it I’m nothing
Janet(putting her hand on his shoulder):Arthur, you’re not nothing. Your bound to be something. You’d think I’d be friends with you if I didn’t believe you can be something great?
Arthur:What do you mean?
Janet:I have faith in you Art, I have faith that maybe one day you’re going to come out of your little shell and be something. That’s why we’re really good friends
Arthur:I guess we are better friends then anyone else. I mean heck you’re the only one that understands me. You know me better than my own parents.
Janet:I feel something when I’m around you, Art
Arthur:What do you feel exactly?
Janet:I feel that you can be the ideal guy for me. I feel that I…love you
Arthur:You love me?
Janet:Yeah I love you
Arthur(sarcastic Woody Allen-esqe laugh):You’re kidding right?
Janet:I’m not
Arthur:I can tell you are, don’t lie to me
Janet:Arthur, I’ve never lied to you. You just don’t get it
(As she walks away he follows her and stops her)
Arthur:Wait, I understand how you feel when did you hit you
Janet:I’ve always had something for you Art, I just didn’t want to admit it was love because I feel it could hurt our great friendship. Then theres people who’ll laugh and point at us when we walk by. Norma tells me never to let anyone know how you feel about certain guys.
Arthur:Norma isn’t always right
Janet:I guess I should’ve never told you because now I just feel awkward
Arthur:Don’t, I understand what you mean. I mean I feel the same way but not in love with you type of manner just as friends
Janet:Well can you give it some thought?
Arthur:I will
Janet:Thank you because you really mean a lot to me
(They embrace each other in an "awkward" feeling)
End Scene 4
Scene 5
(We find Arthur with Ernie and Lillian in the kitchen the next day)
Arthur:They allowing you to go?
Ernie:Pfft…no but I’m going anyways
Arthur:How are you getting in?
Ernie:Easy, my cousin is the ticket vender and besides Maggardy doesn’t go to these things and if he does he’ll be at the buffet anyways
Arthur:Clever Ern, clever
Ernie(looking at Lillian):You goin to the dance sweetcheeks?
Lillian:I’m 19, your 16, do the math
Ernie:Age is just a number baby. My uncle is 42 and my aunt is 24.
Arthur:I thought your aunt was 41?
Ernie:That was my old aunt….this is my new one and she was a actress. Uncle Bill hit a home run with this dame
Arthur:You got a weird family Ernie
Ernie:Tell me about it, my mom was a factory worker and my dad was a maid. Except he called it a Stewart. My brother can bench press over 250 yet he’s a writer. Bunch of whack jobs if you ask me.
Lillian:So how did it go, yesterday, Arthur?
Arthur:Oh, it was ok I guess.
Ernie:Where’d he go yesterday?
Lillian:Over to Janet’s
Ernie:Ooo Artie’s already rounding 3rd
Arthur:Come on Ernie, I told you Janet is not that type of girl and besides we’re just friends. We’re not dating, we’re just going out to a dance
Ernie:So you’re dating?
Arthur:No, we are not dating we’re just going out on a date
Ernie:So…you’re…dating?
Arthur:You two are so much alike you should date
Lillian:No, simply put, no
Ernie:We do got a lot in common baby
Lillian:No we do not. We totally don’t
Ernie:You have dark hair, I have dark hair
Lillian:For the record, I am naturally a blonde. I dyed my hair
Ernie:Pfft…so was I
Lillian(slight laugh):No you weren’t
Ernie:Yes I was, there is no way in proving me wrong.
Lillian:Don’t lie to me like that
Ernie:Why you afraid it might affect our relationship?
Lillian:There is no relationship, Ernie just me and you
Ernie:We can take nothing and make it something
Lillian:Let me think…no
Ernie:What are you scared of, baby?
Lillian(arms crossed):Nothing
(He leans into to her with his arms wrapping around her)
Ernie:Chill baby, take it slowly…slowly
Arthur:Can you do this somewhere else, I’m trying to eat my cereal here
Lillian:Get off of me
(She pushes him off)
Ernie:Chill baby, tame the wild beast
(He puts his hand on his shoulder and it starts to go down her back before it can get any lower, she pushes him again leans up on the counter and grabs a butter knife)
Lillian:Ernie Lacey, I swear any close to me or any part of me. I will stab you in the little heart of yours
(He swipes the knife from her and puts it on the table. She runs away and he chases after her. They run through the kitchen, into the living room, and upstairs as she gets up the steps he slaps her in the buttocks(yes I actually wrote that) and he jumps back down stairs)
Lillian(after he smacks her):Ahh! Ernie!
Ernie:Lets get out of here
(He runs outside and Arthur follows behind we see Lillian sitting on the steps with her arms folded giving the prissy school girl look)
End Scene 5
Scene 6
(We find Ernie and Arthur sitting at the lunch table)
Ernie:I swear if we get homework again I will kiss Haggardy
Arthur:What is up with you today?
Ernie:What do ya mean?
Arthur:You’re acting a little out there today or something
Ernie:I think it might be that stuff my cousin gave me
Arthur:What was it?
Ernie:Its like some kind of drug
Arthur:Are we talking medicine or something?
Ernie:No he said it was called speed or something
Arthur:Speed? Gosh Ernie, first cigarettes now this? How am I ever going to get my father to respect you if you’re on drugs and stuff.
Ernie:I haven’t taken that much. My cousin does it all the type for track and stuff it makes you more hyperactive. I love it you should try it.
Arthur:Ernie I’m not going to do drugs, this is insane. I’m starting to think you’ve lost your mind
Ernie:I’ve lost a lot in my life but my mind is not one of them…so what happened yesterday?
Arthur:What do you mean?
Ernie:At Janet’s
Arthur:Nothing, I just came and we just talked?
Ernie:That’s it? Jeez Art make a move or something
Arthur:She’s no…
Ernie:She’s not that kind of girl. Whopee doo, Art. It’s the same thing with you. You got no confidence and you don’t think she’s that kind of girl. She was pregnant once.
Arthur:Ernie don’t lie to me like that. Janet’s a nice clean girl she has never been pregnant.
Ernie:How would you know that?
Arthur:Oh come on, Ern you sound like some crazy lunatic. I’ve known Janet for 15 years. She has never been pregnant.
Ernie:Like I said, there is no way in knowing that.
Arthur:There is plenty of ways.
Ernie:Such as?
Arthur:I’ve never heard this story
Ernie:I’ll tell you why, it was a cover up.
Arthur:Now you’re being redicolous
Ernie:You see Arthur, back in the 8th grade, Janet went to Summer Camp and she was abducted by aliens, and one of the aliens impregnated her.
Arthur:Ernie, you need to seriously lay off the drugs and cigarettes…and Science Fiction movies.
Ernie:Haha, Art I’m just kidding. Your hostile you need to calm down
Arthur:I am perfectly calm
Ernie:Its only a joke
Arthur:Well I didn’t find it funny
Ernie:That’s because you have no sense of humour. You’d rather watch Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca then listen to Lenny Bruce.
Arthur:What do you see in that guy
Ernie:He’s spot on. He tells it like it is. Hollywood is just too fake. Bruce knows what he’s talking about.
Arthur:I just think he’s a hack
Ernie:Well who do you think is funny?
Arthur:Jack Benny
Ernie:Jack Benny? You mean the square on TV?
Arthur:He’s not a nerd, he just wears glasses for his vision
Ernie:You’d know Art
Arthur:Look you are really starting to tick me off
Ernie:Because I hate that my best friend is some kind of square. There’s a reason why I don’t bring you around Ace and the boys over at the Lumber Yard.
Arthur:Well gee, Ernie I guess the last 11 years don’t really mean a thing to you
(Arthur gets up and leaves)
Ernie:Eh come back here, Art, I’m only kidding!
End Scene 6
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